Urban Lighthouse

A surprising truth about motivation...

2011-04-27T11:08:00.000+01:00

I first saw Dan Pink at TED, when he spoke about motivation. He found an interesting study that, surprisingly, suggested money is not the best motivator...

The TED video can be found here http://bit.ly/geRowE

I recently came across an RSA talk by Dan on the same theme, which I like better as it is a great visual representation of the same talk:

Enjoy!

PS And by the way, Dan also produced a pretty cool career guidance book . It has been written in Japanese Manga style i.e. a cartoon character, giving the basics of career guidance in a new and interesting way. See what you think...The Adventures of Johnny Bunko: The Last Career Guide You'll Ever Need

www.authentic-change.com

10 Tips for Happiness and Success

2011-04-18T08:55:00.001+01:00

1. Live your life on purpose
We all have a purpose in life. In this busy and hectic world, it is easy to become overwhelmed by the wants and desires of others. You have a purpose, and you know what it is. Get in touch with it, and live it.

2. Live your dreams
As children we all had dreams and aspirations. They filled us with joy and excitement, and gave us something to look forward to. Something that had meaning. Be different, write down your dreams and consciously make them come true for you.

3. Live with intention
Intention brings purpose and dreams into reality. That strong determination coupled with the belief that you can do anything you focus on. Whether you decide that you can do it or can't do it, you are right. Decide what you want, and commit. Banish doubt, and anything is possible.

4. Feel the fear
You are not alone. We all have fears. To others they may seem nonsense, but to you they are real. At some point you realise that fear needs to be controlled, so that you have the power, not the fear. Embrace the fear, and do it anyway. Commit and you will move forward, and learn to live.

5. Learn to love
It is only when we learn to love ourselves that we are able to love others. You cannot give away something that you don't have within you. Loving yourself will ultimately benefit the lives of others you meet on life's journey, as well as your own.

6. Be who you really are
Life puts many demands upon us, and we have to adopt many roles. It feels like each one pulls us away from who we really are. Our values become compromised, and we begin to lose our identity. Be aware of who you are and what you stand for. Be strong in living your values.

7. Learn to forgive
Carrying hurt, helplessness and anger is not good for our physical, emotional and mental well being. It slowly eats us away from the inside, and traps us. Forgiveness is about personal power. You have the choice to be free, and through learning to forgive, you find inner peace.

8. Maintain balance
For some, the endless treadmill brings a joyless and draining life. All work and no play, where we know our work colleagues better than our own family. Life gets out of balance when we live passively rather than actively. Understand where you spend your time and energy, and regain control, so you do what is important to you and stay in balance

9. Live in the moment
In our thoughts and our conversations, we spend most of our time in the past (thinking about what has already happened) and the future (what may or may not happen). We miss the now. Live in the moment, and all the pain of the past recedes and the worries of the future fade, leaving the vivid experience of the present.

10. Smile!
A smile costs nothing, but creates much. It enriches those who receive it without impoverishing those who give. The memory of a smile lasts forever.

Journaling

2011-03-23T09:22:00.001Z

Today for the first time in ages I sat down at the start of the day and wrote in my journal. 3 pages of A4. I've not done that for over a month. Why not?

As I reflected on that I realised that I was getting caught up in a load of 'stuff' that made me consider journaling as less important. Getting up early for meetings, travelling here, there and everywhere to get things done. The pace of life increased to such a point that all I could focus on was the road ahead. No chance of taking in the surroundings and enjoying the journey. Is that the way I want it?

Absolutely not. Living the start / stop life is not for me. Working hard and fast during the week and slowing down to relax at the weekends was something I'd left behind when I started my own business. Yet it is so easy to fall back into the trap of equating long hours with getting things done / making money. Old style thinking.

So, spending some time writing stuff down and working them through on paper helped me get things into perspective. To take stock of the situation and act accordingly. It's a great investment of time and easy to do.

Take some paper, or if you have a notebook use that. Use your favourite writing instrument, something you enjoy using. Then, just write. Put down whatever comes into your head and go with the flow. Write for 20 minutes. See what comes up. Simple.

Enjoy!

White Rabbits

2011-03-01T08:08:00.001Z

White rabbits, White rabbits, White rabbits.

It is a lovely idea. Saying these words first thing on the 1st March will bring luck for the rest of the year. I love these things, stuff dating back many years and many generations, the origins of which are lost in the mists of time. I am sure we all have our favourites.

I am more of a pragmatist. On sunny days, such as those we are having now, I'll take moment to stop. Face the sun. Close my eyes. Soak in the warmth and energy. Be thankful.

Simplicity itself. Try it. Any time, any place.

Have a sunny day!

Responsibility

2011-01-13T09:01:00.003Z

By chance I recently came across the RSA website and the series of lectures they have on video and audio. I was particularly taken by the animate videos, which provide a fascinating visual delight of the highlights of key talks. Like the TED lectures, I find them educational and inspiring and, most of all, provocative.

Barabara Ehrenreich is a name I came across last year, when her book 'Smile or Die' was published and was subsequently reviewed in various papers. The commentary she made on the impact of Positive Thinking was thought provoking, coming from someone who had dealt with fighting breast cancer. The reviewers at the time ironically put the book down as being quite negative, saying she asked many questions of positive thinking but provided no answers or alternatives.

Yesterday I came across the animated video of her talk to the RSA in Jan 2010. It was interesting to hear her personal message in her own words. See what you make of it and how you feel about it.

http://tinyurl.com/ycdl5u9

Like the reviewers of her book, I feel the video has a useful message. Yet I came away feeling something was missing. Not necessarily the answer itself regarding the alternatives or otherwise of positive thinking, but a way of dealing with 'reality'. I am an advocate of seeing the situation for what it is, and not glossing over 'problems' or 'difficulties' by using positive language and deleting negativity. As they say 'shit happens'. So is simply being aware of reality the answer? I think not.

It struck me as I was walking home from the cinema having watched 'The Kings Speech'. A great film, and while many will have focused on how the King managed to overcome his speech impediment, I also came away with his strong sense of responsibility, especially in challenging and very difficult times.

Therin lies one possible answer, perhaps. When confronted by a difficult or challenging issue, by all means be positive and optimistic, but these by themselves are not enough. Be realistic, take responsibility and manage with the situation you find yourself in. You always have choices, so be aware of them and take action. As the saying also goes, 'shit happens, so deal with it'. You can have the life you want without needing The Secret, quantum physics or other mysterious forces in the universe. Be realistic and take responsibility. The power is with you.

Think about it. Perhaps you have other thoughts...

Beauty

2010-12-16T13:08:00.001Z

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

As you look out at the world today, what do you choose to see? Its ugliness or its beauty?

Namaste.

Comfort zone

2010-12-08T09:25:00.001Z

As the winter weather continues to hold its grip on Scotland, many are staying in the comfort of their own home, safe and warm. A natural and sensible reaction when severe conditions persist.

Despite that, many still venture out, taking the risks to do whatever needs to be done. What drives people to go out? Perhaps a sense of duty, serving others when times are harsh. Perhaps a fear of the consequences of staying home. Maybe even a lack of appreciation of the risks involved, or a determination to carry on irrespective of what is happening elsewhere.

There are times when staying in your comfort zone is exactly the right thing to do. It is a safe haven, a place to feel energised and refreshed. Some stay forever within their comfort zone which is the right choice for them.

Some are not happy with the confines of their comfort zone and desire to grow and stretch. This may be a conscious or unconscious motivator, driving the need to take risks and to go that little bit further. Others are driven by circumstances or unusual events to go beyond the usual constraints. Whatever the cause, the step is made beyond the existing comfort zone. Sometimes a big step, sometimes small.

Inevitably we return to our comfort zone, our safe haven, to refresh and gather our strength again. That venture out may have been painful or pleasurable, either way we will have grown in some way. We may have learned something new about the world around us, about others, as well as about ourselves.

So, whether you stay in or venture out, the key is knowing whether it is the right thing for you to be doing right now. After all, it is your choice.

Keep safe and warm.

Snow

2010-11-29T09:40:00.001Z

It snowed heavily yesterday, unusual for this time of year. It came down heavily, leaving a white overlay over everything. My reaction to this is one of excitment. Didn't get much snow when I was young, so for me it represents snowmen, snowball fights and a winter wonderland.

Took a train to the outskirts of town for a walk in the countryside. It is a regular walk, through some woods along the side of a stream, then a short climb to a viewpoint that provides a great vantage point. The snow had transformed the walk into something quite beautiful, in its own way. The crunch of snow beneath my boots, the falling snow creating a semi transparent landscape. Tree branches, bare of leaves, now hung heavily with snow, emphasing their shape and form. Sounds were muted, save for childrens excited shouts as they enjoyed this new scene.

I enjoyed it too. It was a spectacular walk through the woods, and a joy to be out there. Oh for such simple pleasures. Just a week earlier I had done this very same walk and it is fantastic to witness the changes through the seasons. With a simple covering of snow, it all looked quite different, and offered new perspectives on the familiar.

The trouble with the familiar is that it is all too familiar and comfortable, even when it is not what we really want. All too often we accept the familar, struggle on in the hope that things will change for the better. Yet that change never seems to come. As I sat at the viewpoint surveying the whitened landscape, I wondered. If we simply changed our perspective of our landscape then perhaps things could be different. Just as the snow had overlaid the landscape, overlay our challenges with something different. Imagine a landscape full of solutions and opportunities, perhaps. Instead of imagining all the problems and things that can stop us, what would it be like if everything went that way we wanted? Would we behave differently? Are we more likely to make the change?

Perhaps. Perhaps not. I suppose the only way to find out is to go for a walk in the snow...

Changing your mind

2010-11-15T09:01:00.001Z

I am interested and intrigued when people change their minds over something that seemed immovable. Perhaps like you, I wonder why, what has driven the change.

In the public domain it is a daily occurrence to witness politicians and leaders change their viewpoint, sometimes very dramatically. Open the paper or listen to the morning news to hear the latest on this. In all too many cases the change is driven by money, power or ego. You know what I mean, and it is plain for everyone to see, yet they seem to think we don't. They spin elaborate arguments, denials or simple untruths to justify the change of mind. Its all too sad to watch.

Yet in all of that, I also witness people who get caught up in the associated trap that it is not possible to change your mind under any circumstances, for fear of loss of face or integrity. They blindly stick with something even though it is obvious that the current line of thinking is not helpful. I have coached many with this predicament.

When it is apparent that we need to change our mind over something, it is worth considering what is making us consider such a change. Perhaps take some time to consider what is important to us and how the change will help, without compromising who we are. We know deep inside if the changes are right, so take time to check your gut feel on this. Stick with that. What others think is of less importance, they will agree with your decision anyway when it is clear you know it is right for you.

Be courageous. It is OK to change your mind.

Measure Up

2010-11-11T10:31:00.001Z

I attended a workshop yesterday, hosted by Scottish Mentoring Network, on self evaluation of projects in the voluntary sector. In particular, funders in these constrained financial times, are asking for more metrics to demonstrate the benefit of a mentoring project.

It seems sad that we have a culture where we are becoming obsessed with measuring everything, whether it is the financial or social return on investment, hits on a website or YouTube, or followers on Twitter. There are lonely people out there who are looking for their ideal partner using a checklist to tick how well any potentials measure up.

Yet at the end of the day, how can we measure the things that are truely important to us? How much integrity does that person have, how committed are they, how much do they really love me? These things, and others, really do matter to us, yet some remain frustrated that they cannot be measured. Some say that of coaching too. If you can't measure the benefit from sitting down with someone and working through stuff that really matters, then its fluffy nonsense, without value.

Yet, in the real world, of ying and yang, logic and emotion, the balance is maintained by looking at the whole. I am happy to be emotional and spiritual as well as logical, that's what makes me human and unique. When I work with clients, I invariably ask them at the start of the session 'What's been better since we last met?' Invariably I get a range of things that have positively changed for that person. No measures, just how their world has improved in some way through their thoughts and actions.

One take-away from the workshop was that anything we do has a story. A place where we start the journey and the end point. What we all find most interesting is the story of that journey, so be willing to share it, or at least appreciate it. The final learning point was that during that journey, change will have occured. You can't help it, something is different compared to yesterday. Each day is a journey, and each day we learn something new, and get better, in some small way.

So what went better for you?

Waiting

2010-11-04T10:04:00.001Z

Sat in a hospital waiting, thinking about all the other times I am kept waiting. It is easy to become frustated, wanting to get on with whatever we are waiting for.

Sometimes that makes us angry, sometimes it makes us anxious, other times it is simply boring, as the finite time that is before us is ticking away, wasted, never to be reclaimed, lost forever.

I wonder what would happen if we never had to wait ever again. We would get things when we want them, at any time to suit us. Would this enrich our lives?

In a society that seems to thrive on speed, with a want for instant response and gratification, would we simply go even faster, or perhaps have even more time to idle away our time surfing the internet or watching TV.

So the next time you are waiting, fuming at the time being stolen from you, perhaps instead just chill out and savour the moment. Take the time to look around, notice what is going on, listen to the sounds around you, and 'feel' your enviromment'. It is quite possible that you will notice something very interesting and useful to you.

As my wait comes to an end, I simply feel a massive sense of love for the person I am waiting for. That was certainly worthy of my time here.

Sleep

2010-11-02T10:04:00.001Z

Posted the following tweet yesterday: Can you overcome your negativity bias? Here's a challenge. Thinking about the week ahead, what will you be doing when you are at your best?

Alec suggested he'd be sleeping, which I thought was both funny and interesting. Interesting in that some would say that being at your best is when everything is done with ease, without having to put in much thought, in a state of 'flow'. We are being natural, working to our strengths to the exclusion of everything else. Sound familiar?

Sleep is a natural process, one where we heal ourselves at all different levels. Research suggests that by getting enough sleep every night, we can improve our physical health, our energy levels, our IQ levels and our general outlook on life. It is part of who and what we are, a building block of life.

So, it seems that one cool way to help you be at your best is to sleep more. Thanks Alec. Sleep well!

Time for a change

2010-11-01T09:09:00.001Z

The clocks have gone back today in the UK, as we head towards shorter days and longer nights. The change happens without question, we adjust to it and simply carry on. This happens all the time.

In an article in the papers over the weekend, a man serving a life sentence for his crimes was asked about how he coped with the knowledge that he would spend the rest of his life in prison and would die in custody. His response was that he'd accepted that and was getting on with his life within the new boundaries that had been established for him. He felt that we all do this when faced with changes that are for forced upon us.

Change can happen in an instant, indeed it usually does. It is really about the acceptance of the change and then moving on that is the key. Some we accept quickly, some take longer. Perhaps the same process works for the things that we want to change within ourselves. Perhaps to move towards the future that we desire is as much about accepting that what we want is achievable and that we deserve it as it is in our skills, hard work and good fortune. Perhaps that needs to be the way to set our goals to make the necessary changes we want.

Time for change. Ready to accept that?

Pleasures

2010-10-27T10:20:00.001+01:00

I have been in the habit of writing a journal for the past 6 years. One sheet of A4 writing about my reflections of the day and the things I need to get done. A bit like having my own life coach, prompting me along, pushing me to do better. As with all of these things, it can be a little habitual, and sometimes I write on autopilot. In some ways that's fine, as my unconscious reveals itself.

At times, though, it is good to break from the norm. Today I started with the question 'What gave me pleasure yesterday?' In the past I have done the journal reflecting on what I was grateful for, which is also a great exercise, but I tried this instead. For me, I came to realise how much I enjoyed the day, especially the small stuff. A single paragraph in a book I'm reading made me smile and stimulated a load of cool ideas. My lunch of scrambled eggs on toast would not have been bettered by anything in any restaurant at that moment. Feeling the love in the hugs from my wife. That was the realisation. Taking pleasure from those little moments in life, maintaining that perspective that helps lift your spirits and reminds you that life is a stream of such pleasures. All you have to do is see / hear / feel them.

Unplugged…

2008-07-26T11:16:00.002+01:00

Are you preparing for your holidays? Ready for a good time?

It is that time of year again. Holiday season. Transport links strain at the volume of people moving from one place to another, stress levels rise at the desperation to get there quickly and make the most of that precious and scare resource, time to ourselves.

We all have our own choices and motives for doing whatever we do on holiday. From lying on the beach to hiking up Kilimanjaro, drinking and dancing the night away to exploring new places, the range and diversity of holiday breaks is staggering. Yet are you making the most of your holiday?

I have a few suggestions which you may wish to consider. Easy stuff that just may make a difference to your holiday. I am no guru on this, I just know they work.

Unplug yourself from the information and communication highway. For that short time, switch off your mobile, laptop, TV, PDA, whatever you use to plug in. Give yourself a break. The emails, texts and messages will all be there when you get back. Unplug physically and mentally. It’s your holiday, it’s your time.

Find 10 minutes every day just for you. We all make the excuse during the working week that we can’t find the time to sit and chill out, to meditate a little, to just let the world go by and not get caught up in all that stuff. Yet we get away on holiday and still don’t make the effort. Just do it. Now. Find a quiet place to be by yourself, and take ten

If you are with others, your partner and / or your children, make time for them. I heard one senior manager say that this was a time to reconnect with his family. Well, if that is the same for you, make sure you reconnect. Most importantly, listen to them. This is not the time to offload your woes. It is a time to do stuff together, have fun, and just be there with them. Share your energy, share your love.

One final thought. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing on holiday, experience it. Don’t let it pass by in a blur. Fully engage with all your senses, physically, mentally, emotionally and even spiritually. Fully immerse yourself in each moment, be grateful for each sight, sound, smell, taste and feeling. They are unique to that time and place. Immerse yourself in that sensual experience.

The choice is yours. Unplug yourself from the daily stuff. Plug into your experience. Enjoy your holiday. You deserve it.

There is no-one who became fat because he broke a fast, no-one who became rich because he broke a holiday
African proverb

Unconscious metaphors…

2008-07-22T16:56:00.003+01:00

Do your dreams keep you grounded and so prevent you from flying free?

The power of metaphors has been well researched and documented over the years. Books weigh down the bookshelves on the conscious metaphors we use and on how to alter them to bring about more global changes within us.

Bookshelves are also filled with volumes on interpreting dreams and on how to use them to allow us to understand ourselves better and to also make changes. The only challenge I sometimes find is to remember the dream in the first place!

Yet over the years I have had a recurring dream. The scenes change but the one constant element is that I am able to fly. This is quite a liberating skill, but it has also limited me at the same time because I invariably found that gravity was a stronger force than my ability to fly. This meant that I always floated to the ground and was unable to take off again. At best I am able to fly a few feet above the ground. To resolve this, I look for higher places to jump off from, and after the initial exhilaration of free flight, I drift to earth and land gracefully back to earth.

I am sure there are many meanings for such a dream, but for me it was quite easy. I was limiting myself. Gravity was the force that tied me to the place I was. No matter how high I climbed, or how hard I worked, I was limited by the laws of physics. As an engineer I knew the laws well, and they created my boundaries. Perhaps some of this sounds familiar?

I was not content with this limitation. After all, it was a dream, random yet structured events that had meaning and impact in my waking world. There must be a way to break through this. So I looked for solutions. The most obvious one was to get myself in a rocket launcher and blast my way through the atmosphere so that I could get beyond gravity. The most elegant vehicle to do this was the space shuttle, so that’s what I prepared myself for. I visualised the space shuttle, captaining the craft as it launched into space. Easier to do when I’m conscious, yet surprisingly, the next time I was having a dream where I was flying, I was able to get into the shuttle and blast off into space. Limitations gone!

Well, I wanted a more elegant way, and once I’d realised I could make these changes, there was no holding me back. Now, I can take off at will, like Neo in The Matrix, flying without limits. The wonderful thing is that this is helping me break some of the limiting beliefs in my conscious life. But then some would say that the line between being asleep and being awake is somewhat blurred. Can you really tell me that you are awake? How do you know that?

One thing I do know, though, is that you can make the changes, consciously or unconsciously, to do whatever you want. We all have within us a capacity and a capability for so much, with virtually unlimited potential. So as well as setting your goals and taking action consciously, why not make the changes at an unconscious level too. Some may see you as a space cadet, but learning to fly is only half the fun. Wait until you find out you can have and to do whatever you want…

All men dream but not equally. Those who dream by night in the dusty recesses of their minds wake in the day to find that is was vanity. But the dreamers of the day are dangerous men, for they may act on their dreams with open eyes, to make it possible.
TE Lawrence (1888-1935)
British Soldier

Alive...

2008-07-11T13:45:00.003+01:00

Are you alive? No, really. I’m serious. Are you really alive? How do you choose to spend your time while you are awake?

Maybe you like to watch reality shows or soap operas on TV, keep up to date with the latest sports events or be seduced to buy ‘stuff’ that you don’t really need. Perhaps you like to see your friends, or enjoy the thrill of live theatre, or the excitement of being at the game, or even watching the sun set in the evening.

Maybe you like to listen to the radio, hear the latest bad news from around the globe, mingling in with the traffic or commuter noise around you. Maybe you drown all that out with your portable rock music or the classics. Perhaps you enjoy conversations and debate with friends about life’s mysteries, or listening to the ocean surf as you walk barefoot on a beach's golden sands, or even listening to the birdsong up above and the rustle of the unseen wildlife amongst the trees and bracken as you walk through a forest.

Maybe you feel angry and bitter about the way life is treating you at the moment, wondering why it is all happening to you, or perhaps you feel helpless and lost in complex, suffocating and confusing world that seems to make no sense. Perhaps you feel alive, doing what needs to be done to ensure your own health and well-being, yet also giving some of your attention and focus to make a difference in some small way.

It doesn’t take much to be alive. Perhaps all it takes is a small change from being passive to being active. To break out of the trance that so many seem to be in and to wake up. To think and reflect and after sitting and waiting for so long, perhaps it is time for doing something and being someone. Being you, perhaps?

Time to live.

And in the end, it is not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years.

Abraham Lincoln

16th President of the United States (1809-1865)

Footprints...

2008-06-21T10:28:00.002+01:00

What impression do you leave?

I went to visit a labyrinth last night, one set up in a church as part of the Glasgow West End Festival. Being interested in labyrinths, I was curious as to what I would find. Inside I was a little surprised to find a path laid out on the floor of the church using upturned carpet tiles. In my socks, I followed the trail, and stopped at the 10 stations to read and reflect on the activities at each station. At the end, I was invited to trace my foot and leave a message on the card.

Though this was not quite what I was expecting, I embraced the process and involved myself fully. I confess I was a little too pre-occupied with the process rather than doing the reflection, yet I did come away wondering about my footprint.

With all the current interest in our carbon footprint, I wondered about the wider implications of the footprint we leave, and what are we doing with it now. Wikipedia describes our carbon footprint as tool for ‘for individuals to conceptualize their personal impact in contributing to global warming’. Yet what footprint are we leaving in other respects?

My own reflections made me wonder about the gifts I have, and how I may use them to help others find the gifts within themselves. It is all too easy these days to forget what a resourceful and wonderous being we are. If we neglect our gifts and fail to share them, we leave very little impression in the sand as we walk on our journey through life. As we walk, the impressions quickly fade by the passage of time.

The greatest impression we make is the one we make now. As you stand, here and now, this moment is the greatest opportunity you have to make a difference. It is not what happened yesterday, as that impression is already fading. It is not what you do tomorrow, as that has yet to happen. It is now.

You can leave a deeper impression by standing firm in your beliefs and in your authenticity. Be who you are, standing up straight and proud, revelling in who you are and in the gifts you have to share. Sharing those gifts deepens that footprint all the more.

So, what impression are you making?

“Sometimes one creates a dynamic impression by saying something, and sometimes one creates as significant an impression by remaining silent.”

Dalai Lama (1935- )

Tibetan Buddhist Monk

Beauty...

2007-11-04T15:05:00.000Z

What beauty is around you now?

I wonder if you have ever taken the time to see the beauty that is around you right now. The colours. The tones. The shapes. The form. As you look around you now, what is pleasing to the eye? What can you now see that you were blind to a moment ago?

I wonder if you have ever taken the time to listen to the beauty that is around you right now. Listen carefully, as beyond the noise there is a lovely rhythm. Hear it now. The volume. The pitch. The tonality. The range. What glorious sound can you hear now that you could not pick up a moment ago?

I wonder what smells you can detect as you read this. Breathe in deeply and take the time to get beneath the layers and sense those faint aromas. The light and heavy. The pungent and the fragrant. What beautiful smell can you detect now that you couldn’t sense a moment ago?

Turn your senses inwards. Let the thoughts just drift on by. Cut through the clutter and sense the beauty that is within you. Relax some more and connect with your inner beauty. Allow what you see to intensify in colour. Allow the sounds to become richer and fuller. Allow the smells to fill up your nostrils. Let the feelings wash over you like a refreshing sping shower, cleansing you and revitalising you.

In this moment, realise that beauty is all around you. Always. Beauty is within you. Always. All you need to do is to take the time to enjoy it.

Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it.
Confucious (551 – 479 BCE)
Chinese thinker and philosopher

Diamonds from coal…

2007-10-25T16:47:00.000+01:00

Feeling the pressure? Wondering what to do about it?

Consider how nature responds. Coal is made up of carbon in a random configuration. Coal is full of impurities, though despite this it is great for providing heat for a short period.

Under extreme pressure and temperature, and in the absence of impurities, coal can be transformed over time into diamonds. Diamonds have a regular and tight structure and are the hardest known natural material.

As you reflect back on your life, you may realise, if you haven’t already, that the time when you learn most is when you are under pressure or feeling the heat. In those moments, even time seems compressed and distorted.

It is precisely at those times that we should take a step back and consider the learning we are having with that experience. What are you learning about yourself? What can you do to change the situation for the better? Would a different perspective offer new solutions?

Within us from the start there is a purity that is without compare. Life tends to contaminate us and move us away from who we really are. Yet as we grow and develop, the impurities can be cleansed, we can become more organised and have more structure in our lives and can deal better with the knocks life likes to give us.

Within us all shines a pure and beautiful diamond. Remember. Coal cannot be made from diamonds. The diamond will always shine within you. We just need to recognise it sometimes and polish it off now and again.

The soul is placed in the body like a rough diamond, and must be polished, or the luster of it will never appear
Daniel Defoe (1659-1731)
Writer, author of ‘Robinson Crusoe’

Newsworthy...

2007-09-06T23:13:00.001+01:00

How does it make you feel as you follow the news?

Informed, perhaps. Distressed, even, at the events that are reported. Probably. Happy the way things are turning out in this modern, civilised world? Unlikely. Lets be honest. Bad news sells, no-one cares about a happy ending. After all, they only occur in fairy tales, don’t they?

In an age where there is access to information literally from every street corner, what kind of data consumer are you? Do you take a passive or an active role in what you read and digest? Before you answer that, consider the following.

Whether you read a particular newspaper or watch a news channel, the items are chosen for you. Of course you will have developed a preference for the delivery style of news, hence your choice of medium, yet in the end the information you consume has been chosen for you. So perhaps it would be fair to say that you are a passive consumer. A few may delve deeper and cross check the information they receive. Go into any library and read various newspapers covering the same storyline. Each has its own ‘unique’ angle and ‘exclusive’ coverage of the main events. The same happens with the television, and on the internet. In essence, they all cover the same ‘facts’ and add their own embellishments, suggestions and opinions.

So, with all this ‘choice’, how is it that the news is invariably bad? Even more importantly, if the news is bad, doesn’t it follow that it is likely to make you feel bad too? That is something you can perhaps answer for yourself. So why sit there and take all of this? After all, you can choose what you decide to read or watch, can’t you?

So what are the alternatives, I hear you ask? Well, the first one is radical. Stop consuming the news for a month. For some this is a bit like quitting smoking or giving up a coffee or tea addiction. Yet you will be pleasantly surprised at how little you will miss it and how much more time you will have. Nothing to do on the morning commute? Try smiling warmly to your fellow commuters. Too crazy? Then how about observing the simplicity and the complexity of life around you, and be grateful.

Of course, it is not for me to suggest you stop reading altogether. There are many great books, magazines and websites out there on personal development, self help and well being. Why not go and find something more uplifting and stimulating to read or watch. I won’t recommend any, as I have made my choices, just as you need to make yours. The learning is as much in the discovery of new knowledge, so go seek and you will understand. Be active in your development, and you will grow. After all, nature flourishes best when well fed on nutrients, and perishes when poisoned.

What are you feeding yourself today?

The man who reads nothing at all is better educated than the man who reads nothing but newspapers
Thomas Jefferson (1743-1826)
3rd President of the US

Identity...

2007-08-05T12:18:00.000+01:00

How many times have you asked “Who am I?”

As I was listening to a personal development CD, the question came up yet again, and as ever the facilitator guided me down the route of understanding the various roles in life. Partner, father, worker and so on. I am sure that you have seen the same. Yet I have never felt at ease with this. These are things that I do rather than who I am.

The CD went on the ask about me, whether I am male or female, tall or thin, fat or thin, leader or follower, a loving person or evil. I am always amazed that others love to label me. When people are unable to cope with the complexity of the world and the beauty that surrounds us all, they generalise us and put us into boxes. Type A or type B, characteristic 1 or 2, and so on. These classifications help them to judge us, but do not serve me or you.

The latest plaudits say that I am just energy, held together by something magical, a life force that is unique to me. We are all just one, connected across the universe through our common building blocks of quantum energy and matter. I like to take this a step further. I think that my uniqueness is my energy signature, the levels of my vibration at various levels that help identify who I am. It is a bit like the cascading characters that are seen on the film ‘The Matrix’. The characters continuously change, so that at any moment I am made up of one set of numbers, and in the next, I have a brand new set of numbers defining me. Continuous change. Isn’t life like that?

This moment as you read these works is unique. It has now gone, and will never be repeated, even if you choose to read these words again. If you choose time as a measure, then any time in the past will never be the same as this moment, or any moment in the future. Our molecular structure of our body has changed in that moment, the connections in our brain have altered, we are not the same person we were just a moment ago.

Then perhaps the moment of choice for you and I is who do we want to be now? Perhaps I would like to be different from what I was a moment ago, yet by definition you already are. You have already changed, whether you like it or not. The exquisite conclusion that you may wish to draw from this is that you may wish to choose who you become in the next moment. You will change anyway, so why not change for something that you want? Why accept what you have been given and how about taking what you want?

All it takes is a thought, a simple change in your own vibration, your unique signature, and you can have anything. You, and you alone, have that power. Choose. Be who you want to be. Now.

At the center of your being you have the answer; you know who you are and you know what you want.
Lao Tzu (6th century BC)
Chinese philosopher

Donkey...

2007-07-13T11:02:00.000+01:00

Are you getting buried by it all?

I have yet to see the new ‘Shrek’ film, but am reminded once more by the tale of the donkey. There was a farmer who had an old donkey. The donkey fell into a deep dry well and began to cry loudly. Hearing his donkey cry, the farmer came over and assessed the situation. The well was deep and the donkey was heavy. He knew it would be difficult, if not impossible, to lift the animal out.

Because the donkey was old and the well was dry, the farmer decided to bury the animal in the well. In this way he could solve two problems: put the old donkey out of his misery and have his well filled. He called upon his neighbours to help him and they agreed to help. To work they went. Shovel full of dirt after shovel full of dirt began to fall on the donkey's back. He became hysterical.

The donkey then realised he had a choice. He could sit there and accept what was happening to him, or he could do something about it. So, each time they would throw a shovel full of dirt on his back he could shake it off and step up. Shovel full after shovel full, the donkey would shake it off and step up. Eventually, exhausted and dirty but quite alive, the donkey stepped over the top of the well and walked proudly through the gathered crowd.

As life throws things on your back, how do you respond? You have a choice. Get buried or accept what has happened, make sense of it, learn from it, then shake it off and step up. When you let it go you will feel free.

Time to take a shower…

“Attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Soldier, author, statesman

Mirror, mirror...

2007-07-11T14:36:00.000+01:00

As you looked in the mirror today, what did you see?

I am fascinated by the comparisons people make about themselves. Ever heard yourself saying ”I am like…” or maybe you see yourself looking like someone or even something. That may create within you a good or a bad feeling as you make that comparison. I recall after watching ‘Casino Royale’ I left the cinema wanting to be just like James Bond. That made me feel good.

Yet equally, we make comparisons or even statements about ourselves that do not help us. I bet you know what I mean. These metaphors of life, both good and bad, have a massive impact on the way we live our lives. Potentially the metaphor can begin to define who we are. They provide the filter through which we come to view ourselves and possibly even the way we invite others to view us too.

I recently met someone who had a fear of flying. She thought it was really stupid to have this fear. Indeed, she told everyone she came across how stupid she was to have this fear. It did not surprise me that she managed to hold onto this fear for many years.

So, as you look once more into the mirror, what do you see? If what you see, or what the voices in your head are saying, are things that do not serve you, how about changing them? Why not be like someone you admire, or aspire to? Why not be comfortable being who you are right now? Be happy and relaxed and feel exquisite about yourself. Be flexible with the metaphors that you use, change them to suit the circumstances. Have fun with them. You will be pleasantly surprised at how much joy the mirror can reflect…

Enjoy!

Life is like a mirror. We get the best results when we smile at it
Anon

Risk…

2007-07-03T19:08:00.000+01:00

Have you ever stopped yourself from doing something because the risk was too great? Have you then later regretted that, knowing that the risk was not real?

I had the pleasure of going out on a trip to Bute last week to visit the splendid Mount Stuart. On my way, I heard that the shipwreck at Ettrick Bay had been removed on the grounds of safety.

I was rather dismayed by this. Though it was not the most beautiful wreck I have ever seen, it certainly added some character to the beach. I also wondered where the local authorities would stop in their efforts to prevent us from harm. Perhaps they would start to cut down all the trees to stop young children from climbing into them…

I also wondered how we set our own limits regarding risk. Normal life experiences help us set limits and some we get from others. Sometimes that is helpful to us. I don’t need to put my hand in the fire to know that I will burn myself in the flames. Yet, at other times that advice is less than helpful and may even stop us moving forward at all. We become over cautious. Just like the local authorities who fear litigation, real or perceived.

So perhaps the next time you say you can’t do something, ask yourself ‘Why can’t I do that?’ If the answer is because of the fact that the risk is too great, become curious. Wonder if the risk is real or perceived. Is the real risk really real?

As children, we were fearless and risk was all part of the game of life. Risk is something we have learnt to factor into our daily activities. In some cases that is entirely appropriate. Yet why apply it to everything? The fun and joy of life is the adventure and exploring our own limits. As we push back our own limits and live life the way we want to, rather than the way they want us to, then perhaps we begin to sense a freedom that rules and regulations have begun to choke out of us. The freedom to choose.

I dare you. Choose to be different. Have the courage to take a risk and live a little. I think you might enjoy it.

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far they can go
TS Elliot (1888-1965)
Poet, dramatist, Nobel Prize for Literature 1948

Oneness...

2007-05-30T13:24:00.000+01:00

Are you wondering who or what you are?

My recent literary travels have taken me on explorations of science and religion. I am not sure why, but when there is a calling I find it best to follow it and see where it takes me. Maybe it is my state of mind though most certainly it is my curiosity about life.

The questions about life have been around since we could think and I suspect that is why we have never come up with satisfactory answers. At both intellectual and practical levels the answers that are offered seem to prompt new questions. New questions yield new answers, and yet more questions. And so it continues.

My quest has taken me to Alice in Wonderland and through a series of related and unrelated links to the film “Down the Rabbit Hole”. In this film, the opening sequence struck a real chord with me. Imagine the scene if you will. A headline on the evening news. “A Coming Together of Science and Religion”. Reports from around the world that once opposing points of view have at last come together to see life, the world and even the universe from the same perspective. They agree on the answers, and potentially on how to live our lives.

Of course, anyone familiar with Spiral Dynamics and Integral Theory would have predicted such an eventual outcome. As we evolve in our thinking, we are able to see the complete worldview picture, not just a slice or segment of it. Our thinking will naturally evolve to one where we see everything as part of a greater power or energy.

That is where science and religion come together. The former tells us that through E=MC², so we are all just mass and energy, that energy cannot be created or destroyed. Quantum physics tells us that we are all made from the same energy and that we are all interconnected. The latter tells us that God is the source of life, he is everlasting, and that God is within us all. Both are saying the same. We are all one.

Think about that for a moment. I am connected to you as you read this. You are connected to me, and everyone else I know or am aware of. We are connected to everything, not just on this planet, but across the whole universe. As energy, we exist here and now, in this place and simultaneously in every place across the universe. Time has no meaning, as we exist across all time. As we are made up of energy that, by definition, cannot be created or destroyed, then that also tells us something else. We are immortal.

Before that takes your thoughts into the realms of science fiction or simple scepticism, I have to add a word of caution. The immortality we have is at the quantum level. That level that is so small that we have yet to fathom the laws that govern it. Of course we all live on a different level, the physical level, where the laws are well understood, where our bodies grow old, as does the universe itself. So we die.

Yet, that does not change the fact that part of us is immortal. Even more than that, we have a sense of that part. I wonder how you sense that part of you that is immortal, connected to everything. Perhaps when you are sleeping, or when you are happy or when you see something so beautiful it takes your breathe away? Perhaps when you feel a true sense of love.

It is in those moments that we all feel connected. Connected by an energy that cannot be created or destroyed. Perhaps that energy could be love itself?

With love,

Phil.

“Man will occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on”
Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Soldier, author, statesman

Bump on the head…

2007-05-18T15:10:00.000+01:00

Are you tired of banging your head and getting nowhere?

At a workshop I ran this week, I began with the opening lines from Winnie the Pooh. I am sure you remember them. As Pooh is brought downstairs by Christopher Robin, head bumping on each step, he wonders if there is a better way to come down the stairs. He concludes that perhaps there isn’t. As adorable as he is, we know that Pooh bear is wrong.

This is a trap many of us fall in to. We get so conditioned into doing things in a certain way, we forget about the options that we have available to us to do something different. Sometimes the process you used to tackle a problem will work in other situations. Sometimes not. Just because a nutcracker is great for opening up walnuts, that doesn’t make it suitable for coconuts. If the way you are tackling the problem isn’t working, why do so many simply try again, in the hope that something will change?

Flexibility and adaptability are important It is a matter of stepping back from it all, and assessing whether there are other ways to manage the situation. Other ways to get you from where you are now to where you want to be. Even if something has worked well in the past, remain open to new ideas that are faster and more efficient. Be aware that someone, somewhere, has solved the problems you are facing right now. Tap into the universal resources, and perhaps your head won’t hurt so much…

Enjoy!

When you are a Bear of Very Little Brain, and you Think of Things, you sometimes find that a Thing which seemed very Thingish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.
Winnie the Pooh (timeless)
Created by AA Milne (1882-1956)
Author

The Future...

2007-05-04T19:23:00.000+01:00

Are you ready for the future?

Of course you are, silly question, isn’t it? We are all ready for whatever life has to throw at us, challenge us, and trip us up with, aren’t we?

Yet, exactly how do you see, hear and sense the future? I suppose that is down to your mindset and attitude to life in general and you know about that yourself better than anyone. Perhaps you react well to situations as and when they arise. You may even enjoy the little surprises that come along without warning. They add spice and variety to what may be an otherwise dull life.

Maybe you like to be proactive. Take the bull by the horns, and charge forth with your goals and dreams. You know exactly what you want, and you go out and get it. Life is within your control, and you make plans, and adapt as required. Life is not for the faint hearted, and you are not going to be left behind.

I wonder if there may be a third way. A mix of the two approaches. You respond to the events as they arise. You will have a plan, of sorts, but the route from where you are now and where you are going to in the future will be flexible. It will depend on the terrain you are crossing, the people you meet along the way and the situations as they arise. You respond positively because you know where you are going, but you also know that the way you get there and the timescales are not important. It is the journey that counts.

As you think about these thoughts, which is your preferred way? Which way would give you less stress, and offer you more choices in life? There is no right way and in the end the choice is always yours. To have a choice means you need to have considered all the options. As you move forward with your next step into the future, have you considered all your options?

I am sure you have. Enjoy the journey!

The future is something which everyone reaches at a rate of sixty minutes and hour, whatever he does, whoever he is
CS Lewis (1898-1963)
Irish Author and Scholar

The Present...

2007-04-22T18:46:00.000+01:00

What is the meaning of life?

I was at ‘A Conversation with Paulo Coelho’ the other day at the SECC in Glasgow, along with 600 others. This was his only UK engagement, which he rather cutely put down to his shyness – he hasn’t done a public engagement in 5 months. The evening coincided with the launch of his new book last week, ‘The Witch of Portobello’.

I am a great fan of his work. Like many others, I came to his writing through ‘The Alchemist’, a fable about following one’s dreams. I have read this several times, and each time something new insight comes up for me. I have also read other books of his, so it was with excitement that I sat down to listen to his words of wisdom.

He got over his shyness quite quickly, and was soon giving us the benefit of his experience and his philosophy. It felt as if he was speaking to me directly, as I was entranced by his stories and metaphors. A question was asked, ‘What is the meaning of life?’ at which he paused a moment.

Stroking his short goatee beard, he answered that the meaning of life should be kept open. My own take on this explanation is that as we walk through life, at first the meaning is unimportant. We are too busy living life. Later on, it forms a question in our minds, and for some, this can become an all consuming passion. His advice was not to be boxed by the pursuit of meaning or by a purpose once you have identified it. Work with what you have while keeping your options open.

I like that. My own view is that we can also seek meaning from each day, even each moment. How often are we so busy with planning for the future, or self absorbed with the past, that we forget about the here and now. The present has meaning too. It could be something profound, or something as simply as enjoying the beauty that is all around us, and reconnecting with your own being.

Where are your thoughts now? When was the last time you simply enjoyed the view, tuned into the sounds around you, feel the temperature of the air, or even savoured the smell and taste of your food?

Life is for living. Live it now.

"Tell your heart that the fear of suffering is worse than the suffering itself," The Alchemist said, "And that no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second's encounter with God and with eternity."
Extract from The Alchemist
Paulo Coelho (1947- )
Brazilian novelist

The Past...

2007-04-15T20:24:00.000+01:00

Does your past determine your present and your future?

I have read that our childhood years are the most influential on the development of our personality, character and identity. I can go with that, yet at the same time I wonder at how such a statement can bind us to our past.

Recently, into my consciousness came a statement I made to myself in my childhood. It was a statement of fact, at least to a young boy, and I was amazed that I had let that go unchallenged for so many years. As I considered it carefully, the fact was not true, yet I had defined myself by this untruth.

Last week I read in the newspapers that time travel, according to our current knowledge, was only possible in one direction. The future. When technology allows, we will be able to travel into the future, but we will not be able to do anything about our past. In many senses I actually found that comforting.

Leave the past where it belongs. In the past. Learn from it, challenge your childhood assumptions. Then move on into the future. Do that with a smile, because the future is as you decide to create it.

Enjoy.

A musician must make music, an artist must paint, a poet must write, if he is to be ultimately at peace with himself. What a man can be, he must be.
Abraham Maslow (1908-1970)
Psychologist

Jigsaw pieces...

2007-04-03T14:41:00.000+01:00

Ever wondered exactly who you are, and where you are going?

I was pondering on these questions as I prepared for an interview. Now, I have to confess, it has been a long time since I was last at an interview. At least 3 years. Though I think I am good at interviews, I still thought it worth checking out the sort of questions I should be prepared for. The usual ones came up. ‘What are your strengths?’ and ‘What are your weaknesses?’. Standard stuff. Yet, they made me wonder, and rather than come up with the ‘standard’ answer, felt it worth looking a little deeper.

A few months ago I completed a ‘Values in Action Signature Strengths’ questionnaire, as part of my reading the Authentic Happiness book by Martin Seligman. It had my main strength as ‘Hope, Optimism and Future Mindedness’ and my second as 'Curiosity and Interest in The World’. For those that know me, an accurate outcome. This insight came from answering a list of 240 questions, and is well worth doing. I would recommend this to anyone. It is a great piece of ‘insider’ information, and it is free!

So, a new strength, perhaps different than the one I may normally have shared at interview. As it turns out, the question never arose. As usual I over prepared, which was fine as I felt comfortable at the interview, with all this wonderful information at my fingertips. Yet, as I sit back and reflect on it all, reviewing the output from the questionnaire was a timely piece of information. It is all part of the ‘Who am I’ question. Another piece in the jigsaw. I have a lot of pieces, from reading books, attending seminars, filling in questionnaires, going on retreats, chatting with family and friends, etc etc. I then asked a daft question of myself. When are you going to put the pieces together to get a view of the image, a picture of me?

Coincidentally, I had a look at this film, and it raised the exact same question, but in a different way. Hmm. Perhaps I am onto something here. So, while I rush off to find all my jigsaw pieces, I ask a simple question of you.

Have you ever tried to put the pieces together?
What image came up?
What direction has that led you in?
Are you there yet?

Remember, you don’t need all the pieces to enjoy life…

Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.
Mohandas Gandhi (1869-1948)
Indian Political and Spiritual Leader

Technorati Tags:happiness, authentic, life

Star Gazer...

2007-03-27T14:37:00.000+01:00

Do you read your horoscope in order to determine what to do each day?

I suppose many people do, as they can be found in newspapers and magazines the world over. Our fascination with finding out our fortune and / or our future as told by some astrologer is fascinating. I know of some who go to great lengths to understand their star charts and the influence of the planets on their lives and where they should live and work. Yet, I ask myself, is this the right way to live?

Consider, for a moment, the future. Would you consider it to be set in stone, determined by some greater power, so that it is simply your role to fulfil the destiny that has been set out for you? Or perhaps you have free will and astrology, with its many cousins for forecasting the future, provides a further piece of information with which you decide which path to go. Interesting ideas, yet I have to remain unsatisfied with either. Both seem to be based on fear.

Fear of the future binds us all. Whether it is fear of getting a decent job, finding a loving and caring partner, to the greatest unknown inevitability of all, death. Fear makes us hungry to understand what will happen next We want to know the future so that we can exercise some control over our lives. After all, life continually moves into the future, so preparing for it is essential if life is to be worth living. Yet doesn’t this then suggest that the future is not laid out as set out in the position of the planets and the stars. The future is ours to make of what we will, based on our intelligent interpretation of where we are now and where we have come from.

I kind of like this idea. It brings out the challenge that you can influence what will happen, and therefore you are responsible for what will happen. Doing nothing is a choice. The future is therefore open ended, and that makes you capable of steering it in the direction that you want it to go. To think that the future is laid out in the stars or in some cards leaves you as a victim of fate. That is one possibility I am not willing to entertain.

Are you?

The greater danger for most of us is not that our aim is too high and we miss it, but that it is too low and we hit it.
Michaelangelo (1475-1564)
Painter, sculptor, archtect, poet, engineer

Technorati Tags:horoscope, authentic, life, future

Spring forward...

2007-03-25T15:45:00.000+01:00

The clocks changed today, and my childhood rhyme, ‘Clocks spring forward in March’ was heard once more in my head.

I love this time of year, perhaps more than any other. The sun shining in Glasgow yesterday just made it all the more wonderful. It is the time of year, for me anyway, to be making plans for the future. The pressure and hype of New Year resolutions has long faded, and I would prefer to anchor my goals to the dawning of spring. I admit, I have done a lot of hard work over the autumn and winter months preparing the ground and planting the seeds, but now the expectations are high, and it is time to have some fun.

In an earlier posting I had suggested ditching the SMART goals and moving to STAR goals. As I have shared this with others, it became apparent that SMART goals are so deeply anchored that it would take a lot of work to shift, so I have evolved my own ideas and developed the new SMART way of setting goals. In brief:

S = specific, which includes what do you want, and when
M = mindful, which asks if the goal is ecologically right for you, and why now
A = ambitious, why be realistic / achievable when you have so much potential
R = rewarding, suggesting if it ain’t fun, why are you doing it
T = true, inviting you to ensure the goal is true to you, and aligns with your values

So, the next time the sun is shining, I invite you to sit out in the sun, and craft your goals for the next 12 months, 5 years, or whatever timescale suits you now, along these lines. Use whatever method works for you best. I have lot of ideas, ask if you want to try some different ones, I’d be only too pleased to help. Then, take that next step.

You may even have a spring in your step when you finish…

The Daffodils

I wondered lonely as a cloud
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host, of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars that shine
And twinkle on the milky way,
They stretched in never-ending line
Along the margin of the bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee
A poet could not but be gay,
In such a jocund company
I gazed -- and gazed -- but little thought
What wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.

William Wordsworth (1770-1850)
Poet

Miso soup...

2007-03-14T20:14:00.000Z

He brought the bowl to his lips. The dark brown liquid betrayed its heat by the wisps of steam dancing across the surface. The slightly salty smell filled his nose, as he cautiously took his first sip.

His first trip to Japan, many years ago now, had overloaded his senses, as he wandered around the streets dazzled by the sheer strangeness of it all. His young mind simply couldn’t cope with the sights and sounds of this foreign land. He loved it, like being in a science fiction movie, with bizarre combinations of images and soundtrack.

He returned shortly after, keen to maximise this second opportunity. His mind full of the feudal lords of Shogun, he sped from city to city as fast as a bullet, to walk amongst the castles that the samurai had built. He was caught by their exotic grandeur and beauty. He whizzed from place to place, one image blurring into the next, as he relived the battles fought, with swords in the castles and the words in the imperial palaces.

He did not return again for many years. Older, and perhaps a little wiser, he revisited many of those earlier places. The images and sounds had changed a little, neon signs now flashed familiar western symbols against a bustling soundtrack. Yet, he took the time to savour the tastes of this still strange land. A land where food is delicately placed in compartmentalised bento boxes, accompanied by a hot bowl of soup. The presentation was exquisite, the taste divine, bringing with it a feeling of the orient he had not sensed before.

As he looked at the packet on the supermarket shelf, he could not resist it. Once home, he opened the silver wrapper and tipped the contents into a Chinese bowl, and poured in the hot, still boiling water, and left it to cool a little. He watched carefully as the soup settled, assuming its familiar look. A dark brown liquid with what looked like cotton wool in the bottom. Miso soup.
He had read somewhere that Miso soup was good for digestion, to be drunk in the morning and the evening. That may be true, he thought, as he held the warm bowl in his cupped hands. For me, he thought, as he took his last sip of this unique concoction, it means so much more…

Memory is a child walking along a seashore. You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.
Pierce Harris (1895-1971)
Minister and columnist

Our essence...

2007-03-09T14:46:00.000Z

Has your thinking changed over the past ten years? Do you see, hear and feel life differently than the way you used to? I wonder if it is better than before, the same or perhaps worse?

Our thinking changes over time, and perhaps we can put that down to getting older and having had more experience of life. I recently gave a talk on Spiral Dynamics, a framework which attempts to show how our thinking evolves. The framework is complex yet elegant, and can apply to you as an individual, to groups and organisations, as well as society as a whole.

As with all such frameworks and models out there trying to ‘classify’ people, it is tempting to label people as being at a certain point on the spiral and with that knowledge, the whole person is revealed. Yet they all miss that essential element that perhaps we even overlook ourselves. It is our essence that makes us unique, not our thinking.

The essence can take us beyond our current thinking and tap into inner resources that allow us to grow and develop, or make the best of a challenging situation. Our thinking need not define us. It may certainly limit us, but that is a choice we make. Potentially we are unlimited and sadly it may well be our thinking that is holding us back.

So, the next time you think about doing something fantastic and the word ‘BUT’ gets in the way, stop and examine how it got there. Negative thinking, a bad experience in the past, something you heard someone else say, perhaps? Then ask yourself a smarter question. Focus on what you want, and ask, ‘What’s the next step?’

Then take it…

The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection
Eric Arthur Blair aka George Orwell (1903-1950)
Author, Journalist

Release...

2007-02-27T17:38:00.000Z

Ever wondered what was holding you back from being great?

I have always admired Nelson Mandela, perhaps more so since he was released from prison and led the transition to a multi-racial democracy in South Africa. He spent 27 years in prison for what he believed in. Ever wondered how long you have to remain in prison before you are released, and become great?

Though many of us are not imprisoned behind concrete walls, we are all defined by the writing on our walls. That writing, put there by our parents, our environment, our culture, our fears and hopes define who we are. Much of that stuff on the walls is lies, untruths and false perceptions, yet the daft thing is, we call it our comfort zone.

Incredibly, many stay within those walls, and as time goes by, the walls become more and more solid, so that rather than comfort us, they confine us. The writing stops us from exploring, from discovering new things about ourselves, from living the life we were meant to live. Some believe that the walls are impenetrable, and that we can never be free. Others know differently.

All it takes is a decision. Choose to be free. You don’t have to wait 27 years as some have had to do to discover their greatness. All you have to do is make a decision, and having made that choice, you are then free to move beyond those walls, and find out what is on the other side. Break through. The walls are only within your mind. Find out what is out there. Then the fun really begins…

I learned that courage was not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it. The brave man is not he who does not feel afraid, but he who conquers that fear.
Nelson Mandela (1918- )
Lawyer, Statesman, Winner of Nobel Peace Prize 1993

Focus…

2007-02-24T16:54:00.000Z

Once I remember as a boy I was cycling home from school. The best bit was the free ride down the hill on the last leg towards home. It was great, I could manage to pick up quite a bit of speed such that it was frightening and exhilarating at the same time. On this fateful day, I noticed a brick in the road ahead. I kept my eye on it, and was amazed at how the bike seemed to be making a straight line for it. The more I looked at it, the faster it approached until *!?#!CRASH!*!~#!

Young boy, in slow motion, goes flying over the handle bars like Superman. Luckily I ended up on the grass verge, muddy but otherwise OK. My bike suffered a worse fate, a badly buckled front wheel. I had the embarrassing walk home from there, about ½ mile, looking as if me and my bike had been through a mangle.

Of course, we have all had similar experiences. Or was it just me? Perhaps. For me, the lesson, after many years, is simple. When you focus on something, and it manifests in your life. Good or bad. You probably know people who seem to spend their whole lives thinking about all the bad things that can happen to them in life. The media doesn’t help, with its daily, 24 hour ration of ‘news’, mostly made up of hard luck stories. Some begin to obsess on the bad stuff over which they have no control. Before long, it begins to control them…

Yet, there are other things to focus on. Take a moment. Sit back and look around the space that you are in right now. Focus on anything in that space that catches your eye. As you do, bring all your attention to it. Begin to see the beauty within that thing. Take my word for it, beauty exists in everything. You only have to look. Begin to appreciate it. Smile and enjoy it. Feel how good that is to be grateful for something. As you do, extend your focus and bring other things into your vision. See it, appreciate it and feel good in yourself.

Imagine doing that that for one of your goals? Take an image that represents your goal. It could be the car or the house that you want, the physique that you desire, or the places you want to visit. It is fine to draw them, as long as it works for you. Take that image and look at it every day. Do it in a way that you see it, appreciate it, and feel good in yourself about that picture. About that goal. Then the magic starts to happen…

It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped on link at a time
Sir Winston Churchill (1874-1965)
Statesman, soldier and author

Resolutions...

2007-02-11T09:58:00.000Z

How are you doing with your New Year resolutions?

I think that we are far enough into 2007 to have discarded with all that nonsense. Half hearted attempts to stop doing this or stop doing that. Perhaps it is time for you to also stop beating yourself up about it, and start to focus on the really important stuff. There is still plenty of time in the year to do far more than you have ever done before, to stimulate your creative juices, engage your unlimited potential and make this your best year yet.

On a long drive from Glasgow to Preston, I listened to a self development tape. It promised the secrets to unlimited wealth, success and happiness. Yes, I am a little skeptical, yet I love those tapes and there are some real cool nuggets in there. Let me share one with you.

When you set goals, make them well out of your comfort zone, so that you have no idea as to how you will achieve it.

Now for the explanation. The majority of people set goals that they know how to achieve. By doing so, they work within their comfort zone and so are limiting themselves. By definition, they cannot grow. When you don't grow, you lack the motivation and the inspiration to achieve your goal.

Setting a goal that is beyond your limits does a number of things. For some, the idea frightens, paralyses, and blows them away. For others, it motivates and inspires. It provides an impetus, to explore the unknown, to grow and develop. Let's be honest. Mistakes will be made along the way. The F-word even raises its ugly head. That's right. Failure. That's part of the deal. Accept that, and you start to expand. To do things things that even you thought were impossible. Now you can do it.

Of course, this is only the first part of the journey. I'll explore what to do next now that you have a compelling goal that excites and inspires you. Free your mind, and dream on.

Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go
TS Eliot (1888-1965)
Poet, dramatist

Creating space…

2007-02-06T15:53:00.000Z

Ever felt overwhelmed, with too much to do and not enough time to do it? At times like these, it is easy to neglect your own needs. Others take over, and you lose control of your life. Yet, there is a way out.

Firstly, find out how you are spending your time now. It is better if you write it down. Doing it in your head is fine, but once you can see things on paper, you are in a better position to take control. So, how much time are you spending on things that are important to you? How much time would you save if you stopped doing something that was important for someone else? How much time are you wasting?

Some may say that their time is fully accounted for, without a second to spare. Single parents, busy executives, even you may be saying this. So, let’s make the second step easy for you. Find 5 minutes in every day to devote to you. Make it the same time of the day, make it every day. Perhaps you get up 5 minutes earlier, take 5 minutes less for lunch, switch off the adverts between programmes, or go to bed 5 minutes later. You can do it. Easy, isn’t it? Yet, that’s the hard part.

The third step is to do something for you in those 5 minutes. Indulge yourself. The only rule is that you enjoy doing it, and it is fun to do. Read a page of that book you keep meaning to get to. Write two lines of that book you want to write. Learn 5 new words of that language you keep meaning to speak. Create something new with pencil or crayon. Meditate or pray, close your eyes and dream, do whatever you want with the 5 minutes. As long as it is just for you.

At the end of the 5 minutes, check how you are feeling. If it feels good, why not commit to doing the same again tomorrow. If it doesn’t feel good, why not try something else? When it feels this good, you will want to do it every day. As things improve, as they surely will, then you may well want to extend the 5 minutes to 10, or even more, spending less time on the unimportant things in that busy schedule of yours to make even more space for you…

Enjoy!

“Time is a gift, given to you, given to give you the time you need, the time you need to have the time of your life”
Extract from “The Phantom Tollbooth”
Norton Juster (1929 - )
Architect, author

Self Talk...

2007-01-30T20:27:00.000Z

As you think about something, are you ever surprised that moments later you end up thinking about something completely different?

I am intrigued by the conversations that I have with myself, and how they flow easily from one thread to another. Over the years, having become aware of the fact that I can control that chatter that goes on in my head, it has become more and more positive. Yet, at times the odd stray negative thought gets in there and causes havoc!

I have a few ideas for resolving this, and perhaps they may be of help to you. The first and most obvious is that when such negative energy thoughts come in, throw them straight out. It is a bit like throwing that stone that washed up onto the beach back into the sea. Out of sight and out of mind. Keep a clear beach policy, and only allow positive thoughts stay.

There are those that say embrace the negative thought, take from it the messages that it brings, then let it go with love. The idea being that thr thought has a purpose, usually to warn you or help you with something. That can be quite challenging, as my inner talk knows how to make it hurt! Even though I have changed it's tonality and given it a pleasant voice, it can still push my buttons (hey, I'm human too!) All the same, it can work well, and that led me to a new idea.

I tried a new technique which worked really well for me. A thought came to me as I got up the other day, so I held it there, and then started writing in my journal. I wrote out the self talk, and then responded to it by asking it questions. I asked it about it's intentions, and as I probed deeper, I found the answers to be quite revealing. It brought up the origins of the negative self talk, and by writing it all out, I was able to disarm it and make it safe forever. The cool thing is, that particular aspect has no hold on me any more. Hmmm, must explore this for other things.

So, work from a position that the self talk in your head can be changed. You have a number of options, and one will work for you. It is quite a fascinating journey, so raise your awareness, and enjoy the ride!

If you hear a voice within you saying "You are not a painter", then by all means paint and that voice will be silenced
Vincent van Gogh (1853-1890)
Dutch painter

Magnificent Monday…

2007-01-22T21:10:00.000Z

I read an article in The Herald last week that a psychologist decided that today was the most depressing day of the year. It was one of those articles that I quickly dismiss. I can manage my own state very well, and don’t need the media or anyone else to tell me how I should feel on any particular day of the year. I mean, that’s simply silly, isn’t it?

As it happens, today was a beautiful day. The sun rose in the clear blue sky, and warmed the streets of Glasgow. A lovely day to enjoy the countryside, so without further ado, set off for Loch Lomond. In the same edition, The Herald had a nice walk starting out from Tarbet, claiming a 2 hour walk to gain some exceptional views of Loch Lomond and Loch Long.

Well, the journalist was right, except that it took 3 hours. The views were magnificent. Ben Lomond looked majestic covered in snow, and the viewpoint from Cruach Tairbeirt embraced Ben Vane, Beinn Narnain and The Cobbler, with more peaks further afield. The dam at Loch Sloy could also be seen. The air was fresh, though a little windy at the top.

I made the most of the breeze to fly my kite. It’s a single string kite I got for my birthday. The wind speed was a little too high to let it out much, but it was a lot of fun all the same. I have this silly idea of carrying the kite with me on all hill walks. After all, last September I met a guy carrying an ironing board up Ben Nevis, part of this lot http://www.extremeironing.com/ ,in case you hadn’t heard about it. Hmm, could take Munro bashing to a new level. Fly a kite from all the peaks in

Scotland

. Cool idea! In all this excitement, I sort of forgot about Miserable Monday...

Today, in recognition of Miserable Monday, a journalist got some views from a variety of experts on how to ‘beat the blues’. Excuse me, but exactly who needs advice from anyone on how to be cheerful on such a Magnificent Monday? Not me!

Enjoy!

Happiness or unhappiness is often a matter of choice
Unknown

The fork in the road…

2007-01-11T20:01:00.000Z

Ever come to a major decision point in your life, and wondered which way to go?

Usually the decision is equally balanced, with advantages and disadvantages to either side. Your logic may tell you one road, and your heart another. The decision is a difficult one, and it may seem as if your whole world hangs in the balance until the decision is made. So, how do you go about deciding which way to go?

Let me share with you my recent experience. Perhaps it resonates with yours, perhaps not. I’ll let you decide…

I am on my own path, developing my coaching business and working hard to bring in new clients. Though I have the occasional doubt about the future – I am still working on my self talking ego – I am optimistic and confident about the future.

Into my awareness come two opportunities, different in many aspects, but similar in one significant way. They have the potential to lure me away from my own path, and so away from my own fulfilment. The details are not important, but I had to consider one key fundamental. Were they right for me? As my logic and heart debated it back and forth, I took note from Eckhart Tolle’s words of advice that I read this morning. Abundance comes to those who already have it.

It sounds unfair, but it isn’t. It is the universal law. My feelings of lack – not having enough clients, having to pay the bills – manifested opportunities that helped resolve my anxiety about money, but in a way that took me away from my true calling. I knew this only because I took the time to stand back from the situation, and observe my thoughts, as well observing what was happening around me.

My thoughts raced at the opportunities to help me with my finances, and enhance my career. They also exercised caution, particularly about working under someone else’s direction. Hmmm, not much clarity there. Then my world went haywire for 24 hours, as if I was going through some space-time disturbance. The hairdresser cut into her finger as she cut my hair, something she had never done in 16 years. I lost my mobile phone, I nearly lost my wallet, my plans for the weekend with the children go asunder, and I buy too much ice cream! Wobble, wobble, I am wondering, what is going on! This was all happening for a reason. So, as I always do, I step back and observe.

As I did so, the decision as to which was the right path was strikingly clear. I could sense my emotions to each of these events unfold. Emotions are useful guides, as long as you can manage them, and read the signals. They were provoking me, trying to make me angry, and so get in touch with something quite basic. These ‘opportunities’ were not right, and to follow them would make me regret I had not taken my own path, and so I would eventually get angry with my choice. Staying on my path would be better at this juncture. It all comes down to one thing. Go with my intuition.

I don’t know if I am right or not, but in the end, that doesn’t matter. I am not attached to any outcome. I am enjoying the process. I am happy in this moment, and the next, and the next…

You don't get to choose how you're going to die. Or when. You can only decide how you're going to live. Now.
Joan Baez (1941- )
American folk singer

Happy New Year…

2007-01-05T21:45:00.000Z

How many times have you heard that one in the past week? ‘Happy New Year’. Perhaps you are saying it too. Yet, as you say it, what exactly do you mean?

As I pondered on this myself, I recognise that happiness is a very personal thing. For many, it is their goal in life. Many are willing to sacrifice much in order to be happy ‘one day’, at some ill-defined point in the future. Some even describe it in material terms. ‘When I get that car / house / holiday home / next meal, then I’ll be happy’. Others opt to be happy now, seeking out the latest fashion or thrill, be it real or created. Some are willing to risk life and limb by exploring altered worlds induced by chemicals and drugs. What does all this mean for you? More importantly, does that really make you happy?

Much happiness in western society is fleeting and momentary at best. The cheap thrill, the instant gratification. Instant may mean the 10 second bungee jump off a bridge, or the two week siesta in the sun. Those, and all the variations in between, invariably leave a residue of happiness in the memory, but little more. At worst, they make some depressed, unable to cope with the daily grind of life, and so take various means to deal with it until the next ‘happiness high’. Is this what life is really all about?

Yet, you probably know someone in your circle who is different from the others. Someone who seems to be smiling and happy for no apparent reason. It may even get to a point where it annoys. Perhaps for them, they have found a deeper happiness. One where they are truly at ease with where they have come from, where they are now, and where they are going. They have a purpose in life. Ever wondered what that may be?

I would doubt that their purpose would be to be happy. Happiness is an outcome, a side effect of something else. Think about it. You are happy because of something you experienced. That experience could be real or imaginary, yet all the same, being happy is the outcome, not the purpose. So, what should your purpose be?

Again, I would suggest that the answer to that is up to you. As you ponder on the year ahead, be aware that you have a mind that is capable of great things. Capable of making the impossible possible, the fantasy a reality, and the thought a thing. The choice of what you do with that is up to you. When you realise that you are free to choose, then you will also understand that you can choose to be free. Perhaps in that moment you are happy.

Enjoy the year.

You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.
Albert Camus (1913–1960)
Author and philosopher

Inner voices...

2006-12-30T11:20:00.000Z

I went to see ‘Happy Feet’ yesterday. I didn’t even have the children with me, but that’s OK, there is a child within us all…

I was intrigued by the idea of penguins having a ‘heart song’, allowing them to find their mate and to reconnect after being apart for many months. Literature, verse and song are full of the same idea. I hear it when I think of my soul mate, and I hear another song when I think of my children. It makes me smile, and on occasion even brings a tear to my eye.

As the voice wavers a little at the thought, I am acutely aware of the other voices within me. You know, the voices that perhaps are in you too. The one that is the most familiar is the one in our head. From hero to villain, it supports us at one moment, criticises us the next. It loves to analyse, using its perceived powers of logic and wisdom to guide us. To be fair, it generally has our best interests at heart, but that doesn’t mean to say it speaks the truth.

The challenge there is, what is the truth? More importantly, what is your truth? Ponder that for a moment…

I would guess that when confronted with such a daring question, your mind did a number of things. Perhaps it looked at the question, and asked some more. What do you mean by truth? How can you define truth? What does it matter to me? Perhaps you began to answer the question, based on your current situation, the context in which you find yourself, and our past experiences of the truth. With all that, did the answer satisfy?

Some may have gone beyond the analysis, beyond that conscious voice, and started to address the question from a different place. For some, the heart holds a more satisfactory answer. Something that felt right, giving that warm glow in the chest when one feels content and happy. A real sense of belonging.

Others may have felt it in their gut. That voice of intuition, that sense of knowing that the response in their own mind is right. There my even be some confusion, as the conscious mind starts to edge in and analyse the situation. Yet, you know you have it, that particular inner voice just knows it.

Others again may feel it around them. A field or a source of energy, perhaps even outside of the body. Some call it God, Allah, Bhudda, source, spirit. In essence, and with due and humble respect to all, they are much the same as perceived by us. That universal and infinite wisdom.

Of course, there are also some who sense what is right through their whole body and a bit beyond. A blend of the conscious, the unconscious, intuition and the spirit. An interconnectedness that brings it all together into one single coherent voice. It can happen if you go with the flow, and let the voices work as one.

When you manage that and get the voices in harmony, let me ask you one more time. What is your truth?

I know where I am going and I know the Truth, and I don’t have to be what you want me to be. I’m free to be what I want.
Muhammad Ali (1942- )
Boxer

Entropy…

2006-12-22T17:32:00.000Z

Ever wondered what happens after death? Let's not get into any religious debate, as that can go on for some time. Let's be more practical. What happens to all those memories, those experiences and all that stored knowledge when we die?

I was discussing death with a friend. She was frightened of death, along with the majority of folk I know. She had confronted the question in her childhood, and then dared not consider it again, out of fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of coming to some realisation that our lives and everything contained therein is lost in that moment of death. Yet, if there is one certainty about life, it is death. So what does happen?

One school of thought points to the heaven and hell debate, or variations thereof, depending on who you choose to listen to. That's all very well, yet does not provide a satisfactory answer. For me, anyway.

Another option is the spiritual response, where our soul returns to the Source. Our time on this material plane is to gain experience, so we chose our birth, our life, our death in order to discover what it is like to be alive. Hmmm, I must admit that this had some credence for awhile, especially when the likes of Wayne Dyer et al are behind this idea. Yet, the answer still does not satisfy.

The more sinister variation is of The Matrix ilk, where we are just living out our lives as part of a larger system that we have no conception of. After all, I am not aware of all the micro organisms within my body, and them not of me. Who says I am not part of something bigger. Gaia theory would suggest the mother earth, but then perhaps the universe is an organism too. Interesting ideas, and these are just the top three!

I have to fall back on my scientific background as an engineer to get some foothold on this debate. I wonder if, as the quantum physics people are now telling us more forcibly, we are just energy. Break anything down to its component bits, and all you find is energy. The universe is full of it, indeed is made of it. We are conceived and our energy cycle starts. Entropy tells us that the energy will grow. So we do. At first this is done on auto pilot, but as we develop our conscious self and our ego, the energy starts to be defined by our thinking. Thinking is just another from of energy.

As the energy grows, it develops a unique 'signature', so that the packet of energy that defines us becomes unique, shaped by our life experiences. That energy can change depending on how we interact with others and the environment we live in. When we die, that energy packet, with its unique signature that defined us, is released into the universe once more. As energy likes to do, sometimes it dissipates, sometimes it doesn't. That may or may not influence the energy elsewhere in the universe, depending on whether other energy packets are in resonance. So what, I hear you ask?

Well, if this argument follows (and why not, because like anything else I've seen out there, be it quantum physics or the scriptures, can you prove it otherwise?) then our task as we live our lives is to raise the energy of ourselves and others. We do that through self improvement, in whatever way suits you. By doing this we raise the energy of the universe, and so life continues. Let it fade, and we fade. Death by lack of energy...

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. Man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time
Mark Twain (1835-1910)
American humorist, writer and lecturer

The Secret...

2006-12-15T22:23:00.000Z

I took the plunge today, and watched 'The Secret' online. Wow!

In a nutshell, it pulls together everything from ancient and modern wisdoms about personal growth and development. From 'God' to quantum physics, this has it all. It is accessible, digestible, and actionable!

So, what are you waiting for? I'm off...

'Choose to be free, be free to choose'
Phil Wong (1959- )
Coach, motivational speaker, writer

Infinite Freedom...

2006-12-08T20:49:00.000Z

As I was writing away in my journal this morning, my thoughts were invaded by a phrase of just two words. I was writing about a discussion I had with a friend about being self employed. Though there is a certain lack of security without the regular income from a 'normal' job, there are many freedoms. Then the phrase popped in. Infinite Freedom.

At first I just wrote the words down. Then as I looked at them, a whole series of ideas cascaded off the initial concept. Consider it for yourself, for a moment. What does the phrase Infinte Freedom conjure up for you?

My unconscious brought up some interesting thoughts out from the magician's top hat. Infinite, without bounds, took me on a wild journey through life. A life with no boundaries to constrain me. No constraints to my freedom. I could do anything I wanted, go anywhere, have anything. It was exciting, it was fun, it was paradise. Hmm, another word I don't use very often. Where did that come from?

As one thought shunted another, and the mind raced off in all directions, it became clear that the ideas were collecting together around a common theme. A theme so obvious to us all, yet so hidden by mystique and subterfuge. The theme that we create our own existence.

All that is around me at this moment is as a result of my thoughts and choices that have been made thoughout my life. They have all accumulated and built up so that at this point in time, I am typing up a blog about infinite freedoms. Think about it. This moment in life, as you read these words, this paragraph, at this time, are a result of your choices.

Perhaps, in that moment when you feel that there are no options, you may have more choices than you realised. Indeed, why not an infinite number of choices at any given moment? It may just be a matter of stepping back, and seeing the best way to go, rather than taking the usual path. Infinite freedom gives infinite choices.

Which choice will you make NOW?

Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, but a thing to be achieved
William Jennngs Bryan (1860-1925)
US lawyer, orator, politician

Changing faces…

2006-12-05T16:24:00.000Z

Off to the pictures again, this time to see James Bond. A gritty outing for the new face of 007, and all the better for it, in my humble opinion. Like Doctor Who, the face changes and the name remains the same, but is it the same character?

Each actor has brought their own personality and allure to both roles. Some aspects we like, others we don’t. A matter of opinion, depending on your own view of the world. Each actor wants to put their own stamp on the role, and certainly the new 007 has done that. General opinion, after the initial negative press, had been generally favourable. I wonder why?

Perhaps it has something to do with allowing the actor to use his own unique gifts in the role. The witty comments, the gadgets and the girls are less in evidence, replaced by the powerful presence, the strength and endurance of the character. Almost a more human persona, rather than a superhuman effort, despite the exhausting chases and bloody fight scenes. A more human Bond?

Ironically, as ever, people walked out of the film filled with an inner strength and frame of mind that made punching through brick walls feasible. The film neatly puts the audience in a trance-like state, and disgorges them at the end having been transformed, and able, in their minds at least, to do as much as James Bond. The feeling lasts as long as that bubble is maintained, until reality pierces it and brings us back to reality. I wonder if we could recall this state, could this serve us in some way?

We may never find ourselves in the situations our hero may find himself in, neck deep in trouble and guns a-blazing. However, life has a tendency to bring us challenges that to us are every bit as real as the scenarios in any film. How well we cope depends on the resources we have to hand, and are able to muster. Yet why not tap into the resources we felt as we left the cinema after watching our favourite film?

Think about it. Imagine an event in the future that you may need some help with. A meeting with someone important. A event that perhaps makes you unsure of your own capabilities. Who do you know, in reality or in a film, that could do what you need to do? How would they tackle it? What would they look like? What would they say? How would they feel?

Sense it, and as you look at that image of that person in front of you, in your minds eye, step into them. Feel what it is like to be that person. See through their eyes, hear through their ears, feel their body. Now imagine that future event being successfully completed by that person, and by you. All the resources are available to you. Use them. Be there, and see it take place before you, hear the things you need to say, and feel how good it is to be successful. Lock it in place in your mind, and that’s it.

So you think you can be James Bond?

Those who are rooted in the depths that are eternal and unchangeable and who rely on unshakeable principles, face change full of courage, courage based on faith.
Emily G. Balch (1867-1961)
American academic, writer and pacifist, winner of Nobel Peace prize in 1946

Michelangelo and Spiderman...

2006-11-27T16:45:00.000Z

I was at the Kelvingrove Museum last week. Looking at statues has taken on a new dimension for me when I read the story about a little boy.

He is sitting in the hot sun, watching a very intense young man chipping away at a huge block of marble.

"Why are you doing that?" asked the little boy.

"Because," replied Michelangelo, "there's an angel inside, and he wants to come out."

I am amazed at how sculptors are able to hew beauty from a piece of marble or granite. To visualise a three dimensional image held within the rock, and after many hours of labour, bringing that vision from within into cold reality.

Today I have just watched the trailer for the new Spiderman movie out next May (I couldn't help myself!) The words towards the end of the trailer stated "The Greatest Battle Lies Within". Hmm, I thought, a nice connection between Michelangelo and Spiderman. Heresy, I hear you say?

Let me explain. I believe that within each of us is pure potential. At birth that potential has no bounds, we are free to choose. As we grow older, that potential becomes hidden, by our parents, our family, our friends, our society, and our environment. Some influences have positive effects, some not. In the world we live in today, you only need to look at the newspapers or the television to see that much of the influence in our environment and in society is overly negative. I wonder what the balance between positive and negative influence bombards you day to day from you parents, family and friends? Be honest.

That influence builds layers around your potential, at first simply hiding it. It then begins to bury it. Bury it so deep you lose sight of it. You become distracted by other things, and lose yourself. The layers get harder and harder over time. Like rock. You can't see through it, and it all feels cold to the touch. Next this is, you begin to wonder: Who are you? Isn't there really is more to life than this?

Be curious about the questions, even more curious about finding some answers. There are many ways to rediscover that inner you. Find them, Find yourself. Rediscover your potential. Rediscover your passion.

Perhaps the greatest battle is finding the angel within you?

Man's main task in life is to give birth to himself, to become what he potentially is
Erick Fromm (1900-1980)
US (German born) Psychologist

Changes...

2006-11-23T15:40:00.000Z

As I look out onto a cold, wet and windy Glasgow day, I see the trees have nearly lost all their leaves. Parents and their children make their way through the rain, slipping on the leaves on the ground. It is early, yet the lights are on in the houses, and cars have their sidelights on. Merely 4 weeks ago, it wasn’t all like this. Remember?

It is amazing how quickly things can change, and yet we hardly notice. The seasons come and go, and how quickly we forget the beautiful days of summer, the crisp snow in March, and those dramatic nights where lightening streaked across our skies. Remember?

As the end of the year fast approaches, we begin to wonder where the time went. Events that seemed so real at the time are now fading into memories. Those times that we can still see very clearly in our minds, hear the sounds as clear as a bell, and feel the sensations in our bodies. Those little movies, replaying those events that seemed so important at the time. Remember?

I wonder how many of those memories are filled with joy and happiness, compared to those that are not. What is it that invites us to hold onto some memories, and release others? Perhaps we have learnt the lessons from the difficult events, and so freed ourselves from their grip. Perhaps not. Maybe we have a source of unlimited joy, and so can release the memories. Perhaps not. I wonder which memories stand out for you. Remember?

Change is something that happens to you every single day. Though you go about your life doing similar things, day in and day out, you are changing moment by moment. Perhaps in a big way, perhaps in a more subtle way. Those memories, those events from the past year, and further back, have all shaped you. So to fight against change is unnecessary and fruitless. Yet that does not mean you have no choice. You do. You can choose the change, and its impact. Be brave. Recall those events of the past. Face up to them, and challenge what you want to take from them. After all, they all had good intentions for you. Remember?

Time may change me, but I can’t trace time
Lyrics from Changes
David Bowie (1947- )
Singer, songwriter

The Purpose is clear...

2006-11-22T17:07:00.000Z

I know I am repeating myself, but I guess this says it all. Enjoy!

Direct Debit elevation, Vampire of the Soul
Mumbo Jumbo Commonwealth, Shaman in the Hole
Agnostic Angels murder, collective spirits smart
Making sense of gobbledegook, furnace in my heart

Through Golden Gate, Angel spirit soars
Liver Bird coaches Pure Truth indoors
Metropolis throbbing, divination draws
The Matrix so coolly vibrates applause

The future is always beginning now
Mark Strand (1934- )
Amercian Poet, former Poet Laureat of the United States (1990-1991)

Taking action…

2006-03-24T12:28:00.000Z

As I went for my run today on this cool Glasgow morning, loaded up Tony Robbins’ “Awaken the Giant Within” on my walkman. He is certainly a great speaker, even through his audio books. He speaks with a real passion for what he is doing. Tony’s advice is timeless and powerful. I love the line ‘Never leave the arena of a decision without taking action.’

The key here is the motivational driver that will turn that decision into reality. So many of us have reached March, and wonder where our goals are up to. I wonder if they were left behind because they were only wishes, rather than real desires to move our lives forward. Are you sensing some of that within you now?

I have discussed turning wishes into goals, and from those goals getting a sense of priority. The next step is always the hardest, though I am sure like me you will already have taken a few steps. I wonder how many steps were not taken because we procrastinated too much. I have been through this myself, so what is the best way to get through this?

The first step is to acknowledge that you are procrastinating in the first place. Then look at why. What is stopping you doing this task? Why is that? So, why was that? One more time, why did you not take action? Ask the why question 4 times at least, and get to the base of your procrastination. You will then understand your fear. Face up to your fear, as you will find that fear is a coward.

The next thing is to understand the benefits of doing what you want to do. How will you benefit from taking action? What would you gain? Is that benefit compelling enough for you to really make a move towards it? Visualise the goal or action completed, hear the sounds and feel the way it affects your body. If that starts a good feeling within you, why not increase the size and brightness of the picture, increase the volume and clarity of the sounds, and spin that good feeling to make it more intense. You might well find yourself compelled to take action…

A good plan implemented today is better than a perfect plan implemented tomorrow.
George S. Patton (1885-1945)
US Army General

Make a wish…

2006-03-20T21:26:00.000Z

I picked up a postcard at a local café on Dumbarton Road. It is on the Glasgow 2020 project, where the organisers are trying to get inputs ‘to collect together the imagination of the city to tell a new story about its future’. One idea is for residents to ‘Make a wish…’ about the sort of city that they would like to live in. Check out their site for the latest submissions http://www.glasgow2020.co.uk/index.php

So, I wonder what you would want for the place that you live in 14 years time? It almost feels a bit too far away, doesn’t it? In my childhood days I’d be dreaming about cars that flew from one place to the next without needing a driver. Food that was freely available to all. A healthy and prosperous society, with no social deprivation or class distinctions. The most important quality was respect for the individual. Yes, I had big dreams, and they were driven by my circumstances.

Another thing the blind man said to me (he was not short of a few things to say!) was about circumstances. Though we may have little control over them, what we can all do is change our attitude towards them. That resonates with me. I was once shown that there are three boxes into which we can put all things. The ACTION box, where we have direct control over the thing or the event. The INFLUENCING box, where we can persuade others (i.e. those in direct control) to give us a semblence of control. Finally, there is the SOD ALL box, where there’s simply nothing that can be done.

The mindset seems to be that stuff that we can’t do anything about should be moaned about, worried about, or even stressed out about. An interesting reaction, as that gives the event a power over us that we can’t break free from. It binds us forever, feeding the fire, and taking us down a spiral from which there is no exit. So, I wonder, why do it? Is there something you worry about that you can do nothing about? Think about it.

Hmm, how about turning all this on its head. If you make a wish, why not take responsibility for it and make it happen, rather than expect God, the Universe, or some other unseen, all powerful force do it for you? Put that wish firmly in the ACTION box, and just do it. You have everything you need, I know it, and so do you. So, what are you waiting for?

The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.
William James (1842 - 1910)
US pragmatist philosopher & psychologist

The Edge…

2006-03-19T23:10:00.000Z

It came to me in a dream last night. It’s not that I was thinking about any of this during the day, as I was busy on other things. Indeed, I hadn’t even thought about it at all, yet a message came through very strongly from my unconscious as I slept. My writing needs edge.

So, what is this edge? In the context of writing, it is providing the story, and hence the reader, with something different, unexpected, unique. An observation so sharp, keen and urgent that it requires a double take. “Read that again, my brain didn’t get it the first time. Oh boy, now I’ve got it, my mind is blown away. This is so cool! I need to read it all over again!”

For some writers, this is providing the twist in the tale, the unexpected ending, the meaning that gives an end to the journey. I bet you read that again, didn’t you? It works either way. The end that gives meaning to the journey. Does it matter which way around it is? Probably, probably not.

So, why bother? I suppose that I am in this for more than pure entertainment. I write because I want to share, and by doing so help us all be willing to tackle some questions that many of us don’t normally bother ourselves with. Though I may not know you personally, that does not mean I care. To be a sentient race means we need to be willing to face up to our fears, and conquer them.

Some blind guy was telling me at the weekend that we should allface up to our fears, as when we do, we find they will cower away like cowards. As I listened to the stuff he had to face up to, I was wondering if I had it in me to step up to the edge of the abyss and face my own demons. Ah ha, the edge between cowardice and courage, darkness and light, love and hate. The razor’s edge that separates them so clinically, and provides that sharp contrast between opposing forces.

Yet we all know the contrast is never so clean cut. The grey that invariably settles between the black and the white. The fog, the fuzziness, the answers that are never as straightforward as we would always like. The blade is never that sharp, and invariably leaves a jagged edge.

So where does the edge of this argument lie? In life or in death? Is it as vague as the rest, or as sharp as a knife edge? Cutting, isn’t it…

The Edge…there is no honest way to explain it because the only people who really know where it is are the ones who have gone over.
Hunter S Thompson (1937 – 2005)
American journalist, author of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

The Falling Man…

2006-03-16T23:30:00.000Z

I watched the TV documentary on Channel 4 this evening of the above title. For those who missed it, the work focused on the image of a man who fell from the twin towers on 9/11. The programme followed a journalist who was asked by his editor to find out the identity of the man who jumped. In the end, though a name was found, the journalist took it no further. It took a woman to make him realise that it didn’t really matter. The image was all the more powerful for being an unidentified man, capturing the horror and poignancy of that day.

I had been up the twin towers many years ago, and recall how the skyscraper seemed to sway in the wind, like a tree. I recall the events of 9/11, where I was, what I was doing at the time, and how I watched the events unfold on that terrible day. So many innocent lives, so much suffering, so much loss. Whatever our beliefs, it was a day to be etched in all our lives. Yet what of the life of the man who fell?

Many others that day must have come to the awful realisation that they were going to die. The people on the planes, those within the towers, those who jumped. For moments, or in some cases, for minutes and even hours, they were faced with the realisation that for them, life was to come to an end. For many of us, that pain is hard to bear, let alone to try to imagine what it must be like. I even have to ask myself now, why explore this question at all, why not leave it be?

Death is the only inevitability in this life. It happens to us all, paupers and princes. Yet, we do not seem to cope with death very well at all. We instead avoid talking about it or thinking about it, and focus instead on other more materialistic thoughts, pretending that we will live forever. Death is the big unknown, and so we hide from it, and package it away until we have no choice but to face up to it at the last moment. For many, the hope of an afterlife is what keeps them sane, and allows them to cope with death. Indeed, hope is essential to life itself.

Nietzsche said the ‘Hope is the worst of evils for it prolongs the torment of man’. Yet I think him wrong, for ironically, it is hope that allows us to make sense of life itself. It gives our short lives meaning, and as Grayling argues, ‘Hope is … an intrinsic value, an end in itself, allied to courage and imagination, a positive attitude full of possibility and aspiration. The best of what we are lies in what we hope to be’

The image of the Falling Man can also provide hope. Even when faced with death, he had a choice. Not an easy one, but it was there all the same. There is hope for those of us who are still around, for we draw meaning from such events as 9/11, and the images and reality of those who lost their lives. We can hope to make this world a better one, to not let such events happen again, to bring peace and order to an increasingly confusing and alien world. The choice is ours to make.

The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.
Mark Twain 1835 – 1910
American novelist

Failure…

2006-03-15T21:56:00.000Z

Yesterday a colleague came in to tell me that he had been a failure. Upon enquiry, he had been in a meeting with someone. Despite all his best efforts, he was unable to provide the help and support that he would wish to have provided, and as such he felt he had failed. When probed as to the actual details of the efforts and the responses, it was clear that the other person didn’t in fact want any help, and had a mindset that said ‘my problem has no solution’. All my colleague could do was to simply be there and listen. Sometimes that is all that is needed.

I wondered about this. When a really close friend went through a bad hair day, I confess to having felt helpless. I also admit to perhaps being the cause of some of the distress, and so saying anything seemed to add to the anxiety. At times like these, I feel the best option is to admit to my errors. After all, I am only human. All I can do is my best, and as hard as I try, sometimes I let others down and myself. So, all I could do was be there, and listen carefully.

Being there in the moment is perhaps the best gift you can give to anyone. At times it hurts inside, especially in challenging situations, as in this case. Yet, I felt it was needed, for me to keep quiet, and let the moment do its magic. This is one of those times when silence is just brilliant.

I began to wonder if I had failed, then realised by vocabulary was all wrong. You can’t really fail in such things. You can make mistakes, and boy I sure have made lots. The important thing is to learn from them, and apply that to the situation if it arises again. The thing is, I make that many mistakes I have trouble keeping up with all the learnings! Upon reflection, I realised that I needed to take more action, and be more proactive. The next step was to do something about it, and initiate the recovery plan. Great learning, shame about the pain to get there.

So, I wonder what you learnt today?

There is no failure except in no longer trying.
Elbert Hubbard (1856 – 1915)
American Writer

Health…

2006-03-15T00:24:00.000Z

Like everyone else in the world, I have been trying to get in shape since the New Year. Yet another resolution, and I am pleased to say that this one is still on track. I have been going to the gym three times a week and eating more healthily. This has had the desired affect in helping me improve my shape, and even better, I’m losing weight. I don’t check the scales too often, but it was great to see the improvements today.

I went to a discussion group this evening, and the topic coincidentally was about health. Hmm, I thought, this is going to be good, and it was. The first thing I learnt was that there are three elements to losing weight. The first is having a good diet, the second is getting enough exercise. I would have guessed those myself. The third was about having the right mindset. To lose weight, you need to manage one or several of these factors. The first two are obvious, but the last one was perhaps the big one. I suppose I know this, and we all do, don’t we, but don’t give it the attention it deserves.

In theory then, it should be possible to lose weight by mind control alone. How would this work, you ask? It is all about affirmations. Using the right ones, you can achieve anything. Take a look at this site to get you started: http://www.coping.org/growth/affirm.htm. Using the right affirmation as you are about to eat will work wonders. Do it mechanically at first, and in time, it will become a normal part of your life.

Beyond the affirmation is the changing the belief itself. I sometimes find it hard to fathom, even though I have my own evidence that my thinking affects my health. Years ago I used to have hayfever, which I believed was brought on by the stress of exams, and for many years suffered the runny nose and the inflamed eyes in the summer. A change in diet one year which took out wheat, and a change in belief that I wouldn’t suffer any more, was all it took. I now I don’t suffer from hayfever anymore, and have gone back to eating bread again.

It is interesting what language people use that ultimately affects their health. Ever used ‘pain in the neck’, ‘weight of the world on my shoulders’, ‘back ache is killing me’? These types of phrases, spoken by us or even directed at us, can be literally (excuse the pun, folks) making us ill. Change your language, and you can be healthy. My mother firmly believes that because of something that happened during the war, she never gets a cold or flu. It certainly works for her, and I bet it can work for you too. Combine it with one of the other ways to lose weight (diet or exercise) and you’ll be sure to improve your health. Try it. What is there to lose?

Diseases of the soul are more dangerous and more numerous than those of the body.
Cicero (106 – 43 BC)
Roman orator, lawyer, politician, and philosopher

Slushed in…

2006-03-13T21:07:00.000Z

The only downside of having a wonderful snowfall is the slush. It’s kind of water that sticks to everything like glue, soaking shoes and clothes in a way that rain just doesn’t manage. The drains block up, the pavements become treacherous, and the drivers, whilst focused on driving in the groove, spray the hapless pedestrians as they gingerly pick their way to their destination.

In a day or so, the journey will once again be normal, the slush a bad memory, melted away and washed down the drains and sewers. The grey slime, once pure white, will be no more than a stain on the clothes, waiting in line to be washed with the rest.

Why do such virgin white landscapes get followed by the grey slush and ice? Is this the story of our lives? We come into this world, a crisp white blank canvas, innocent and ready to embark upon the adventure of life. As we step forward, changes occur, and the fun turns to something that is simply not fun. What is ‘not fun’ all about?

Perhaps we should call it something, a massive generalisation under the title of ‘funnot’. Chuck all your garbage in there and keep the stuff we want. Love, integrity, caring, joy, happiness, friendship. Let’s recycle the garbage and begin again, just as the slush becomes water, water becomes vapour, and then we have the wonderful white fluffy stuff…

The greatest waste in all of our earth, which cannot be recycled or reclaimed, is our waste of the time that has given us each day.
Billy Graham
Evangelist 1918-

It’s snowing…

2006-03-12T21:22:00.000Z

In Glasgow! Wow, I got up this morning to find the street covered in about 4 inches of snow. Absolutely amazing! Even better, it was still snowing. Fantastic! The thing that was really cool was that this frozen water falling out of the sky had turned everyone into children. Adults of all ages, teenagers, and even dogs were revelling in this new phenomenon. OK, the children were having a great time too! Isn’t it interesting how this white stuff can change people’s attitudes?

With all other modes of transport out, I had to walk to the SECC for the second day of the Inspire Scotland 2006 conference. Luckily for me, that was a pleasant 50 minute walk through quiet, snow filled streets. Despite the weather, only two of the speakers cancelled, the others braved the elements to join the ‘party’ (one brave soul skied from Linlithgow, 35 miles away!). The audience, a bit light in the early sessions, swelled through the day to the same number as yesterday, which was quite a feat. I’d bet there were more people in this hall than those attending the Hobby Craft and Creative Stitches sessions in adjoining halls.

The input was inspirational, the output was glowing. It was certainly worth the effort, and the snow seemed to enhance the atmosphere in the event. I have to congratulate the organisers for putting on a ‘damned fine show’. Whoever managed the weather to enhance our learning for the weekend. So, how can snow be so inspirational?

Well, consider this. What’s your initial reaction when you unexpectedly find snow on the ground in the morning? I wonder if it transports you to the time you first saw it as a child. With a little hesitancy, and a lot of excitement, you probably dashed out into the snow to play, throw snowballs and build snowmen. Our parents would be screaming at us to put on our gloves and scarves, whilst we were oblivious to the cold (well, for the first hour anyway!) Snow is associated with fun. For me, anything that brings fun into anyone’s life has got to be a good thing.

I admit that there will be those that it brings other feelings. I am always blown away at how an inch of snow can stop trains, planes and automobiles, and cause us to fall on our bottoms and for the few, cause injury. In an instant, a safe situation becomes dangerous, and as soon as it warms up, a dangerous situation becomes safe. How can that transformation happen so quickly? I wonder if the same can happen within us too.

Just as snow, for me anyway, brings out all those feelings of fun, it probably changes you in some way too. What other triggers do you have to change the way you feel? The sight of a rising sun in a deep blue sky, perhaps. The warm glow of an orange sky as the sun sets in autumn. The sight of cherry blossom on the trees to herald a new spring. The sound of birdsong on a summers morning. The smell of freshly mown grass. The taste of your favourite food. Isn’t it amazing how these memories can invoke such pleasant feelings?

So, my challenge for you today, my friends, is that when you are feeling a bit low (and don’t we all, at some point), recall one of these pleasant memories. It is a choice you can make that will change your life. Don’t be bothered that it is raining today. There’s an American phrase about a disastrous day is like having it ‘rain on your parade’. If that’s happening to you, consider the difference in feeling if it was snowing instead. Take that mental leap, and don’t feel down about it. Feel joy. Life is too short for any of us to allow it to rain on our parade. Let it snow, and find the fun in each and every thing you do.

The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?
J. B. Priestley
Author, 1894 - 1984

Fear…

2006-03-11T22:00:00.000Z

I have just been to the first day of Inspire Scotland 2006 at the SECC in Glasgow. I heard about it through family, and was eager to attend as I felt the need for a dose of motivation. It is coincidental how these things come around when you most need them. It was a great first day, with some really cool speakers. Each had their own thing, and told their stories of how they fought their own demons to get where they were today.

Sir Bob Geldoff was the big draw for the first day, and he did the final presentation. He told us that he had ‘made the speech up’ as he went along. Indeed, this was almost his creed. Once he wanted to get something done, he had the confidence within him to get things moving. ‘Live Aid’ started like that, as a desire to make a difference in Ethiopia, and how he now advises world leaders on their approach to the poverty in Africa. It sort of evolved, and he heavily relied on his gut instinct.

I have to confess that my gut instinct is one of fear, at the moment. I face a massive change in career, and want to explore a path that I feel I have not yet trodden. So, to be blunt, I have procrastinated for the past two years or more until now. I have come up with lots of ideas, and developed frameworks and schemes that I think will be attractive to people. I want to inspire people to be free to make their own choices, and this comes from deep within in me. Yet, I have yet to take the first real step. Instead I find another training course to go on, another book to read or DVD to watch. It is all mindfill, choking up my mind with drivel so that I can satisfy myself that I am unable to make any progress today.

The funny thing is, my self talk is great, I meditate regularly, and can visualise where I want to get to, yet still I don’t take that step. I dance around it, a bit like the first time I had to jump from the high board into the swimming pool. In the end, it was to stop further verbal abuse from my mates that I stepped up to the edge, and do a ‘controlled fall’ to take me off balance. Once off balance, I was committed, and I jumped in. It hurt, but at least I did it. So, I know I can do things, as I know we all can. We all have the resources within us to achieve anything we set out to do. So what stops me?

Ah yes, fear. I’ve read those books too. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Yet as I write this, you and I can see the solution as plain as day, can’t we. I am over-intellectualising all of this, thinking too much, and analysing too much. To cross the line, I simply have to step over it. Take action. I have done all the ‘inner’ work, now it is time to get some outcomes I desire. Change my belief to one of achievement. Take a risk, and most of all, have fun!

So, I am back there tomorrow, and I will look for the clues that will help me get on my way. The first step has now been committed, by sharing this with you. I hope you have found something in this. We are all human, with our fears and our foibles. Yet above it stands the unlimited possibilities, potential and spirit that we all have within us to exceed our own expectations and achieve greatness. Commit, and make it so with me.

I leave you with the quote Sir Bob Geldoff left with the audience…

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness concerning all acts of initiative and creation. There is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans; that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too.
All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen events, meetings and material assistance which no one could have dreamed would have come their way.
I have learned a deep respect for one of Goethe's couplets: "Whatever you can do or dream you can, begin it. Boldness has genius, power and magic in it. Begin it now!"

WH Murray
1913 - 1986
Scottish Mountaineer and Conservationist

Silence…

2006-03-10T21:44:00.000Z

I have just finished Neil Gaiman’s ‘Anansi Boys’, a book I got for Christmas. I love Neil’s work, I first came across it in his ‘Sandman’ comics. He has great imagination, and a lovely, quirky sense of humour. Towards the end of the book, he describes the different ways that silence can be felt. It was a bit like the fact that the Eskimo’s have so many different words for ‘snow’, because it is important to them.

So, for silence, what comes to mind for you? Perhaps the silence we have before or after a prayer, wondering if it has been heard. That awkward moment, shall we say something else, to qualify our request, or anything else to justify the imposition on God? Perhaps it is the one minute’s silence on 11th November, or at other times deemed significant by the Church or by politicians, to be appropriate to remember those who have lost their lives.

The last two occasions I was asked to hold silence was at a funeral and at a football match. The latter was to remember the 96 fans that lost their lives at the Hillsborough disaster in 1989. I recall the incident vividly, as I did the earlier one at Heysel 5 years earlier. Such a loss, and the silence brings back the sadness and the hope that such events will never happen again. The funeral was of a friend. His son made a powerful eulogy, and I recall wondering if he had expressed such emotion and passion to his father was whilst he was still alive.

Indeed, I questioned my own interactions with those who are important to me. Why is it so difficult to tell people how much we love them? Instead, there is silence, words left unsaid, and we feel justified in thinking that they know. Do they? My father passed away over 10 years ago. He died painfully of liver cancer. I was fortunate with him. Before he became completely submerged in the effects of the drugs, at a moment of rare lucidity for him, I told him I loved him. ‘I know’, he replied. That was it, a few weeks later he died, and though I mourn his passing, it all felt complete. I was at peace with him and myself.

That’s another aspect of silence. The chatter that goes on in our heads. Finding peace from that can be challenging, and takes quite some discipline to quieten. I only manage it for moments, during meditation, and even then, I feel the need to fill the space with positive, motivating banter. It can sometimes be the same when socialising. There is almost that uncomfortable feeling when no-one is speaking. A painful drive to fill any space with the next clever comment or funny story. It speaks volumes of our insecurities, I suppose, that every space is full of meaningless drivel. No, please, don’t tell me everything you say is so important it has to be said in the here and now.

Someone once pointed out that we have two ears and one mouth, so listen twice as much as you speak. Makes sense, even though I don’t see the logic to the argument. Silent Power, as Stuart Wilde advocates, is something we should all practice. Give others the space they need, and build up your own power and energy by not contributing to the constant noise that surrounds us all. Be at peace with your thoughts. How about taking time to observe your thoughts? Find yourself a quiet spot, and take some time to simply focus on your breathing. Be an observer of the ebb and flow of thoughts as they come and go. You will probably find something really profound. We are all more powerful than we dare think…

Of those who say nothing, few are silent
Thomas Neill

Prayers…

2006-03-09T18:27:00.000Z

I took advantage of another Orange Wednesday and popped into CineWorld in Glasgow to see Capote. Though slow at times, I enjoyed the film. I confess to not knowing who Truman Capote was until I saw the film. So, on that level alone, I learnt something. A summary of the film plot can be found here; http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0379725/plotsummary . The end credits have a quote from Capote from his last, unfinished work, which goes something like, “ More tears are shed for those prayers that are answered than for those that are unanswered.” That got me thinking about prayers.

I suppose that I had better start with a definition of a prayer. In this context, as my dictionary says, “solemn giving of thanks and praise to God and a putting forward of requests”. When I was much younger, I used to do this in Church. That was the House of God, and the only place I was told I could get that communication with the Lord. As I grew older, I didn’t get it, and so stopped going to Church, and started praying at home. I didn’t see the point of all the ritual worship, prayers and singing (though I do confess do enjoy a good sing along). As time passed, I stopped praying altogether. I reasoned that if God is all knowing and all seeing (a scary concept in itself, for a young lad) he knew what I was thinking and could therefore hear the requests directly from my thoughts.

My own spiritual journey took a new direction when I went through a divorce. Major changes in life gets the mind turning towards reasons, and a drive to answers the key questions in life. My upbringing suggested I turned to God, and I suppose many people do at critical points in their lives. I didn’t see that route providing any answers, and so looked elsewhere. I have been exposed to many different persuasions over the past few years, from the New Agers to the Old Beliefs. My logical left brain questions them all, and wonders if all this ritual about our insecurities as a race. We have only one certainty in life, that of death, something about which we still have no answers. Sure, there are lots of theories out there, from all cultures across the world, yet still no answers.

Why do we need answers? Is that to give us security again? I wonder of the animals ask similar questions, or even a blade of grass? I doubt it, but I can’t prove that either. I wonder if perhaps we should just enjoy each moment as it comes along, and accept life for what it is. A brief time of awareness, picking up experiences, and making the best of what we have. Eckhart Tolle says “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you ever have.” That resonates with me to some degree, yet still leaves me unsatisfied.

Perhaps I should start praying again…

If the only prayer you ever say in your whole life is "thank you," that would suffice.
Meister Eckhart
Christian Mystic (c 1260-1328)

Connections…

2006-03-07T22:54:00.000Z

I went to a group meeting this evening, and brought along my portable DVD player as the discussion was to centre around a recorded workshop on forgiving our parents. This was a purely coincidental link to the Choices entry yesterday, even more so when the presenter said that the ability to forgive is all about choices. Hmm, something is going on here, I thought.

As I connected up the DVD player, someone commented on how difficult it was to connect their system up, and I replied that it was simply a matter of having the right plug in the right connection. I wonder, with all of that, if our relationships would be much improved if we sought to seek out the right plug to those we have difficult in connecting with.

It is funny, yet very scary at the same time, how a great relationship can turn on its head, and move from love to hate so quickly. I use the extreme range of emotions; I bet you too will have experienced some sort of shift along this spectrum at some time or another. The longer we hold our positions in the ‘new’ order of the relationship, the deeper seated they become and the more difficult it is to reconcile. In the end, it is pure stubbornness and the desire to come out on top that entrenches the position forever.

The powerful lesson I gained from the DVD was that we sometimes have to be willing to make the first move to break this never-ending and destructive cycle. This does not mean climbing down. After all, our egos wouldn’t allow that, would it? No, take a new perspective and a new approach. Share how you feel about the way things are, and the way you’d like them to be. Do this, or whatever you need to do or say, to break the cycle and make a difference. In many cases, the relationship will get back onto an even keel, and be even stronger. You know this anyway, don’t you, because you have already experienced what I am talking about…

So, the task for today is to seek out our most difficult relationship, and think of some creative way YOU can make it better.

There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.

Ella Wheeler Wilcox
American Writer & Poet, 1850 - 1919

Choices…

2006-03-06T21:12:00.000Z

I am inspired by the tough choices people make in their lives, and how they move on to bigger and better things by confronting their fears. I suppose we all love a hero, who has clear strengths and weaknesses, and overcomes all obstacles to reap their reward and claim a place on the podium of honour.

I am humbled to find stories of heroes in everyday life. There are many books written on this. The American motivational and self help books fill their pages with real life examples of people who have overcome adversity and become a legend in their own lifetime. The British authors are catching onto this theme slowly, yet all are eclipsed by Po Bronson. He has written a book just on the stories of people who ‘have taken the ultimate challenge of self discovery by uprooting their lives and starting…again’.

This reminds me of my father. He came from a land far away, from a culture very different from the one I grew up in. A sequence of events led him to settle in the UK, and having a family to care for, he set about getting some work. He did some training, borrowed lots of money and set up shop. He didn’t have a good command of the English language, but he was determined. He had guts, and a strong self belief. He worked long hours, and took Sundays off to indulge his favourite pastime, gambling and chatting to friends.

He made some difficult choices in his life. Yet, inevitably, as is common from the culture he came from, he went with the flow. His choices were based on doing what he simply felt was right at the time. He wasn’t setting out to change the world; he was a humble man, trying to get by in an ever complex world. He worked with what he had, and stuck to his principles. Though the choices were tough, and the odds set against him, he simply took one small step at a time, and then another, and then another. A true hero.

If he were alive today, I wonder what he make of all these stories, and the trouble we all seem to have in simply getting on with it. I can see him now, smiling at me, and saying “What are you waiting for, son?” What, indeed…

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes...and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
Eleanor Roosevelt 1884 – 1945
Wife of Franklin D. Roosevelt

Programming…

2006-02-21T23:13:00.000Z

I got into computing in the early days via my Sinclair ZX81, and I was introduced to BASIC programming. Typing on the membrane keyboard was terrible, but there was sheer joy when I managed to programme it to do a simple task of keeping score for a darts game. It was easier to use the chalk and blackboard, but that didn’t matter, my first programme was written, and it worked.

I then went on to find more elegant ways of programming, and even did some work on FORTRAN. As my knowledge grew, I did a little bit more, and my programmes became more sophisticated, all with the objective of making life a little bit simpler. Isn’t that what computer are made for, to make things easier rather than more difficult?

So, imagine this. In 1985 I was working in the repair facility at a major computer company, and found that the technicians were using calculators to figure out the failure rates of components and then entering these into a database. It took them at least 3 hours per week. Hmm, I thought, why not use the database to help with that, and do it as the data was entered? Oooh, they said, is that possible? Well, I wasn’t sure, but I figured it out and found them a solution. The weird thing was, they still used calculators for a while to check out the answers from the computer.

I find the same things happen when working with people. There are lots of techniques that are out there to help us programme our minds. The simple theory, in a nutshell, is that much of our behaviour is learnt. Smoking, eating too much, fear of spiders, heights and confined spaces, racism, and so on are all wonderful examples of learnt behaviour. This means that if you don’t like the programme you have in your head, like a fear of snakes, then it is possible to change what is learnt to something that allows you to tolerate a snake without running a mile.

So, you offer to change a programme for someone, and the first thing I find is that people actually like the programme they have, despite the way it is limiting their choices. They don’t think it is possible to change, as they have suffered with this all their lives. Even before they take the plunge, they worry if it will work or not, and find ways to manage their limitations.

OK, that’s cool by me, if that’s what they want, but I am all for having choices, and having the freedom to do what I want. It is not always possible, but that’s my choice. What limitations do you have, and how do you think you can change them to give you wider choice? What would it take to help you to be free…

Freedom is the right to question and change the established way of doing things. It is the understanding that allows us to recognize shortcomings and seek solutions.
Ronald Reagan
40th President of the United States (1981-1989)

Special moments…

2006-02-20T21:33:00.000Z

I feel as if I am on a special mission at the moment. In many ways I am not even sure what that mission is, yet I am boldly going forth where I have not gone before. Do you ever feel like that too? In the back of my head is a master plan, pulled together through the visioning and goals workshops I have set myself. I lose sight of it at times, yet thankfully, I look at it and I am still on track.

I confess to getting a little wobbly about things at times, and wonder if I will ever make it. I listened to one tape today which advised on adopting a winning attitude. At times that feels not quite like me, yet I manage to get to where I want to be anyway. So, what is my trick?

I heard on the radio one day that a million seconds is equivalent to about 11 days (11 days, 13 hours, 46 minutes and 40 seconds to be exact). That simple fact brought a big smile to my face as I realised something fundamental. We can all make a change at any time, and move towards where we want to be, who we want to be, and get done the things that we want to do. Yet we all procrastinate, and find excuses not to move forward. It’s always easier to blame someone else, or something else for not making any progress. But wait a minute, in fact wait a moment.

There will be 1 million moments passing you by in the next 11 days. Each one is special, for in any one single moment, you can make a very important decision. That decision is very easy to make, despite the fact you may have delayed it. So, take that moment, and make it a turning point in your life to do the things you are destined to do. Take that decision, and act now. It’s easy.

That leaves 999,999 other moments to do something equally special. Sit quietly in your favourite place, where you are just yourself. You are no-one’s friend, family, partner, lover, employer, employee, or slave, you are who you feel like you are at that moment. You can also share a moment with someone special, look at a photograph or painting that means something to you, or listen to your favourite piece of music. Be at peace with that moment, savour and learn to love it as a close friend.

What will you do with your special moments?

Every moment is an experience
Jake Roberts
Professional wrestler

Greenock Cut…

2006-02-19T21:19:00.000Z

It was a glorious day on Saturday, so wanting to make the most of this, I went for a walk. I picked out the walk along Greenock Cut. Less than an hour from Glasgow, I started the walk at Cornalees Bridge Visitors Centre. I had a hot chocolate in the café to get some warmth inside, before taking off on the 6 mile walk.

The start of the path is tarmac, going past Loch Thom, named after the engineer with the vision and foresight to design and construct this remarkable feat of engineering. The project was completed in 1827, capturing water in the aforementioned manmade Loch, and feeding this through a 5 mile aqueduct around the hill and then down to feed the ever expanding industry in Greenock. Imagine it, water powering machinery and industrial processes, as well as being used for domestic purposes. The aqueduct itself was only about 2 metres wide by 2 metres deep, which doesn’t seem big enough, but obviously it was.

The walk takes in fantastic views across the Clyde, towering above Greenock at the foot of the hill, and views across the Helensburgh, the lower reaches of the highlands including a snow capped Ben Lomond, the Isle of Bute and Arran in the far distance. The walk is straightforward, offering a promenade like view across the hills and glens. It blends in beautifully into the countryside, and it is a credit to Victorian engineering that it is still standing today.

A quich search on the internet reveals Scottish Water are investing £1million on the walk itself. It is quite muddy in places, but easily accessible in trainers or boots. The plans are to make it ‘buggy friendly’, which is great. They need to think about improving some of the access too, as the road up there can be a bit tight, especially when some large car is coming in the opposite direction.

I’m sure the builders of the aqueduct didn’t have the problem of access, and as I walked around the cut I was wondering how they could manage to build such structures in a remote location. The way it blends in so well with the countryside is in sharp contrast to the modern towns and the pylons that detract slightly from an amazing vista. Hopefully in the future, we can not only protect our heritage, but do so in sympathy with our surroundings. Perhaps we will also to learn to better harness nature's simple yet powerful resources, such as water...

Water, everywhere over the earth, flows to join together. A single natural law controls it. Each human is a member of a community and should work within it.
I Ching

Living life to the full…

2006-02-17T20:35:00.000Z

As I was going through my old files to pull together my personal history, I pulled out some of my Personal Review forms from my days in the big corporate world. They went back a few years, and followed the same old format:

· Review of the previous year (invariably great)
· Goals for the next year (usually a rehash of the ones from the previous year)
· Personal development (highlighting my weaknesses so they could send me on a training course)
· Comments (a place where I could add things which were then ignored)
· Signatures and Date (by myself and my boss)

Sorry to laugh at all of this, but I’d bet a lot on the fact that things have not changed. I used to write the whole document as my bosses, without exception, were too idle to put any effort into my assessment and development. Despite the poor pay rises and the silly politics that went on in big organisations, I still managed to get to Director level (OK, I admit that I worked in an Americanised company, where the title Director is handed out to massage the poor, bruised ego of senior managers who didn’t make it to Vice President) My ego loved it, being a lad from very humble beginnings. Yet I got unsettled when I found that my personal goals were all work orientated, and nothing on the ‘other stuff’.

Well, if you can’t stand the heat any more, then get out of the kitchen, so I did. I came to realise that there is more to life than helping a Company meet its profit targets. So, before leaving, I did some of my own development, and found myself some techniques to move me in the right direction. A direction I could control and manage.

Ultimately that means I find myself being self employed. I recently went back to work for a corporate as a consultant, and it was indeed sad to see how things haven’t changed at all. People with meaningless jobs but fancy job titles, who were more concerned about their jobs and the politics rather than the job at hand. It was quite surreal working alongside these ‘former comrades’. They were all content having the benefits of working for a big company, yet in their eyes it was easy to see that, for many, their souls were elsewhere. Do big organisations rob their employees of their soul, in exchange for ‘rewards’?

The rewards should be aligned to what we want out of life, not some faceless shareholder. I have already mentioned the Wheel of Life, and personally use 8 key areas. One of these is for my career, another for finances, and the rest are for my personal development. It puts my life into the right perspective, and each small step takes me closer to fulfilling my destiny and my life’s purpose. Life is for living, not for slavery…

In between goals is a thing called life, that has to be lived and enjoyed
Sid Caesar
US Humorist

Coincidences…

2006-02-16T20:55:00.000Z

Funny that, I write about coincidences yesterday, and then have a few more today, which was kind of bizarre.

I was looking to set up a self development group in Glasgow. I’m keen on using a number of techniques, and felt it would be great to have a regular session where like minded people can get together and share their experiences. With that in mind, I put out to the universe that I was intending to do that. Sent out a few emails, posted stuff on message boards and make some telephone calls. Sure enough, there is a need, and with some encouragement I set a date for early March.

Today I find that there is a Group already established, albeit in its formative stages (i.e. held one meeting, with three attendees) Well, good on them, and I will give it my full support, but funny that no-one else I’d contacted had heard of it…

The day that my bookshelf collapsed, I saw ‘The Little Soul’ book which reminded me to get on with writing a series of stories. I had a theme, and was developing the idea (hence the creative writing course coming up on Monday) when I find out today that the author of ‘Little Soul’ is in the process of doing a series of books along a similar theme to mine. Hmmm, what is going on?

Not one to be deterred, I wonder why these coincidences are happening? There is a load of stuff written on this in the spiritual books, some of which I subscribe to. Pay attention to it, that’s my simple advice, as something is happening. It’s the universe putting out its little messages, responding to those unspoken questions that we all ask, so that we can make the right choices. Logic is all very well for making decisions, but we must pay attention to our gut feeling too. Coincidences plays a part in that, so I think it’s time to reconsider a few things…

Coincidence is God’s way of remaining anonymous
Albert Einstein
German-Swiss-American mathematical physicist

Revolutionary

2006-02-15T19:07:00.000Z

I can’t resist a bargain, so when the Oran Mor advertised ‘A play, a pie and a pint’ with half price for Orange customers, I was there. Today I was standing in the rain, waiting in the ever lengthening queue to get in. It made a change from my weekly trip to the cinema to make the most of the similar 2 for 1 offer, especially as there was nothing there worth seeing.

So, the play was ‘Conversations in Havana’ by Mike Gonzalez. I’ve just read the review in The Herald and it makes no sense at all to me. The critic was being clever, too clever by far I think, so I’m going to have to make up my own review. The one-act play focuses on the relationship between Che Guevara and Fidel Castro after their ‘break-up’. Fidel does the dirty on Che after selling out to the communists, leaving Che with no revolution to fight. Che spends some time in Prague in hiding, after the abortive attempts in Congo, and then sneaks back to Cuba to have a confrontation with Fidel. After what he has been through, he follows Fidel’s advice and ends up in Bolivia (the alternative choice was Outer Mongolia!?), where the conspiracy theories continue about his death. Was the point of it all about Fidel betraying Che, or about the conflict of their massive egos? I’m not sure, the Guinness was having its effect. The acting was pretty good, though it took some adapting with Fidel Castro and Aleida coming across with Scottish accents. It didn’t detract from this powerful and mostly heavy, political performance, though.

The pie was a delicious performance too, a steak and kidney filling in a light pastry. Well recommended, as was the pint of Guinness, though slightly spoilt by serving it in a plastic pint tumbler. The theatre reminded me of my visit to the Chinese opera a few years ago. Punters were eating their pies and swilling their beer at benches arranged in lines to watch the play being unfolded before them. It was an interesting experience, and the capacity crowd seemed to enjoy the experience too. Well done, Oran Mor, I’ll be back!

Drinking beer in the afternoon is fatal for me. I get sleepy, even on one pint, and can lose an afternoon’s work. Still, I was determined to keep things moving, and did some more mind mapping (The Writer’s Journey) and did an outline for a story. As I was preparing that, the phone rings to say I have a place on a creative writing course. Cool, and a lovely coincidence.

Life seems to have a weird sense of timing, drawing together such events into the same space-time slot to freak us mortals out. They happen every day to everyone (can you seriously deny you have NEVER experienced a spooky coincidence?) and yet we all shrug them off and get on with our lives. I have learnt to take note of such coincidences, for they are the signposts and the gateways to the future. A future that will allow you to realise your potential, fulfil your dreams and your destiny, and allow you to complete your life’s purpose. Ignore them, and they tend to fade away, little by little, and leave us running on the treadmill of life. Be a revolutionary, and dare to be different…

Many will call me an adventurer - and that I am, only one of a different sort: one of those who risks his skin to prove his platitudes.
Che Guevara
Cuban Revolutionary Leader (1928-1967)

Patience…

2006-02-14T19:42:00.000Z

Well, after all the procrastination of the last few weeks, I got down to it today and made some great progress on developing a plan for my new business. I now have a broad outline of what I want to achieve, and the headings for the next level of detail. Interestingly, I also had an idea whilst I was drawing out the plans, which was an important lesson in itself. Ideas come at the most unexpected times, but once you start to take action, new stuff crops up too.

I confess it took a bit of time to get started. I did my first mind map, using the who, what, when, where, why, how questions to start me thinking about the business. I had developed a first set of answers for that, and paused for a moment. My eye caught the Jack Canfield book ‘The Success Principles’. I pulled it out, and immediately got drawn into it. Two hours later, I have a complete mind map on one side of A4 of the Fundamentals of Success. As I congratulate myself, I realise that I’d done it again, yet another creative way to distract myself from my goal. What is the Universe up to, distracting me like that?

After lunch, I spend an hour focused on my objective, and hey presto, it starts to come together. The Jack Canfield stuff helped, in many ways, so the activity was not wasted. It has helped me think of my next step, once I get the business outline sorted. The cool thing is that I am getting more and more excited about the idea. Once it started to take shape on a page, and in black and white (well, I used colours and pictures too to make it more interesting and fun to do) it feels like another step closer to reality. I almost feel I want to get out there now and talk about it, which I could. Yet I also know I need to do some more preparation, so that I have enough detail to convince people to take up my ideas.

This came to me as I tried to make some mayonnaise as part of my special St Valentines meal. Nigel Slater says pour in the oil slowly and stir like mad. Well, for the first 15 minutes that worked fine, I added the oil very slowly and I had a nice thick textured sauce. Then I added just a little too much olive oil (to try to speed things up a bit because my arm was nearly falling off!) and the whole thing went runny and was irrecoverable. Hmm, never mind, another lesson learnt. Be patient right through to the end, and then you will have your reward – thick and creamy mayonnaise!

Only thing left to do tonight is cook the monkfish, crack open the champagne and have a lovely evening! In hope that you do too!

Do not save your loving speeches for your friends till they are dead;
Do not write them on their tombstones, speak them rather now instead.
Anna Cummins
Poet

Procrastination…

2006-02-13T21:53:00.000Z

So, after getting all excited yesterday about getting on my life, I succumbed to the whims of my obsession, electronic gadgets. It is all a bit sad really. Today I waited for the courier to deliver my new mobile phone. I had been offered it for free as I was at the end of my 12 month contract, so here was an ideal opportunity to upgrade. As ever, lots of research later, I went for a phone that could play lots of music.

So, today I wake up with my stomach a little tight because of the anxiety of needing to start a new venture. I was planning in my mind how I was going to get from concept through to a workable business. I then waited for the man to bring my phone. I had lunch, and when he arrived soon after, I decided to go to the gym so I could get my three exercise sessions in this week. After that, and a coffee to relax, it was tea time. Then I spend time panicking over my Valentine’s day card.

So, I spent time making one. As an aside, though I am not in favour of all these anniversaries made for the selling opportunities of card makers, I have to indulge for those I love and make the time to put together a personal and handmade card. They are not difficult to do, but it is the love that goes into making them that counts. It sort of oozes out of the card, like putting on too much glue. It’s brilliant.

So is the new phone. I’m downloading tracks onto it as I type this up. It has taken me ages to sort that out, finding where to download the tracks and all that. Of course, I have also started to sort out my contacts. For some reason they never go across as well as they should, so had a bit of work to eliminate duplicates and sort out the right names for my contacts. There is still much to explore too, and yet I have to ask myself, what on earth am I doing?

So, as I consider this question, I see that all I am doing is putting off something that I should have done months ago. Getting down to brass tacks and getting the business started. After all, with no income to speak of, and lots of outgoings, it is about time I got my finger out and made some effort to earn some money. Hmm, so why do I do it? Why do I procrastinate?

So, though I have yet to ponder this, I see an obvious solution. Put together some compelling goals. I have done all the hard work, yet have to do some more on them to make them truly fantastic, so that I jump out of bed to get them done. It’s so obvious really. Procrastination is an easy option when there is no real purpose to one’s day, week, month, year, life! It has to be something that will pull me towards it. Pushing never works, believe me. I need to make some time to develop my goals, make them visually stunning, giving me a feeling of wanting and desiring, with it’s sweet seductive music. Now that sounds fun!

So, a very useful lesson today.

If the diver always thought of the shark, he would never lay hands on the pearl.
Sa’di
Persian Poet and Prose Writer (1213-1292)

Everything happens for a reason…

2006-02-12T18:21:00.000Z

I had a bit of a ‘turn’ last night at 2am when a crashing sound came from the hall. It was loud, and continued on for about 15 seconds. It seemed like much longer. My brain was confused, muddled, still half in sleep, yet hearing a strange sound in the house. I approached the bedroom door with some hesitation, and carefully opened the door. Before me I find the hall floor covered in books, and on the wall, one of my shelves skewed at a rather odd angle. My heart started to slow down, and I wiped the sweat off my hands. I checked everything was OK and that there wasn’t any other damage before I then returned to bed to continue my dreams.

So, what was that all about?

Earlier in the day I had done some de-cluttering and tidying. I had sorted out my books into themes, and on this particular shelf I put a mixture of titles. Amongst them were books on how to change careers, photo books on my directors, Ali and Diana, and travel books on Shanghai, the birthplace of my father. There was also the wonderful book ‘The Little Soul and the Sun’. Two rather hefty French and German Dictionaries were also there, right above the shelf support. I think the logical cause of the screws pulling out of the wall was simply the weight of these two volumes. I had moved them to the edge of the shelf, and 6 hours later it all came tumbling down.

I began to wonder if there were other ‘reasons’ for this occurrence. I threw down some thoughts as they occurred to me into a mind map, and then sat back and took an overview. As ever, the answer was quite simple.

This was a wake up call for me to get on with progressing my ideas and my work. I have been procrastinating for ages about making a career change, and finding all sorts of excuses not to take the first step. I had bought books and videos and audio CD’s, been on expensive training session, yet still did not have the courage of my convictions to step forward and do something. The ‘Little Soul’ was telling me to get out there and make a difference.

What am I waiting for?

Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly
Robert F Kennedy

Finding my way…

2006-02-10T19:52:00.000Z

Yesterday was a great day for a walk. Today, a little tired after the walk, I could only make it as far as the nearest BeanScene by Kelvin Hall, a half hour walk along Dumbarton Road. As I relaxed in their comfortable leather sofas with quiet music in the background and a nice hot cup of coffee in my hand, watching the world go by (isn’t people watching great fun?!) I thought about the Ben Lomond walk.

The bit that came to mind was the very start. Having parked the car and geared up, I went in search of the start of the walk. As usual, I took the wrong turning and walked for 10 minutes in the opposite direction before coming to the rangers hut, which then advised me of the right way to go. I am making a habit of this, I thought, getting lost right at the start of the walk. Once I am on the path, I find it easy to stay on it and get to my destination, despite the ice and other obstacles in my way. So what’s that all about?

I saw this as a powerful metaphor. As ever, I had at least 4 guide books telling me about the walk, all of which I had consulted before setting out in the car. I even had a photocopy with me of the walk itself, but didn’t consult it. I just went off on my merry way in the wrong direction. Perhaps there is something trying to tell me something. So, as I did on the walk, I stopped and sat back to get a view on what is happening.

For me, this means I need to read all the information that I have. I like to just get up and go, though this is telling me that at times I should plan things out a bit more. How true this is for me! I am great at getting in lots of information, probably doing too much research, and thinking I have absorbed it all, get up and go. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, in my book. Taking the first step is fine as many don’t even get that far. I can always change direction if things are not going right, and invariably that’s what I end up doing. I could be more effective though, with a bit of pre-planning, and still take action. I’ll get there a bit quicker, and with less effort, so that’s worth trying, isn’t it? A lesson in every incident, no matter how minor.

Does any of this ring true for you?

You are not ever given a wish without also being given the power to make it true
Richard Bach
Author of Jonathon Livingston Seagull et al.

Ben Lomond

2006-02-09T19:47:00.000Z

It was forecast to be a beautiful day today, so took the opportunity to get out onto the hills. The work will just have to wait, as we don’t get that many gloriously sunny days in February!

An hour's drive from Glasgow took me to the base of Ben Lomond, and it was a 2 hours 45 minutes walk to the top. Went at an easy pace, as I didn’t want to kill myself, and the stunning views were there to be savoured, not rushed. How many times in the past have I rushed up a hill just to get to the top? I admire the view for a few moments, then either dash down or head off for another peak. I must have missed so much as I raced around the mountains. Today the view changed at every turn. A bright blue sky, with just a little haze and a few clouds meant there were stunning scenes all around.

The slow time was also due to some ice on the path in places. In the shadows the ice was rock hard. Where the sun started to melt the ice, it crunched underfoot in the satisfying way. Beneath the top cover of ice, melted water snaked and darted beneath, making stunning patterns as the droplets formed and split along the path. Never realised something so simple could be so beautiful.

The scene at the top was brilliant. Some of the hills around were snow capped, especially those to the West (Ben Ime) and others to the East. To the south lay Loch Lomond with its many islands, and in the distance, Glasgow could be seen as the sun glinted off high rise windows. Bute and Arran could just be seen through the haze. You don’t have to travel far out of Glasgow to find breathtaking views!

The trip down was easier, though still took 2 hours, due to the treacherous ice and my aging knees. Rewarded with the sun setting, providing a fabulous orange glow to the sky. Back to the car exhausted, and was in the process of eating a well earned coconut and cherry muffin (home made of course!) when a cheeky little robin made a valiant attempt to steal it! Give him credit for trying, but don’t get in the way of a hungry hiker!

Back at home, filled up with some home made soup and relaxed in a nice hot shower. It is amazing how much pleasure a simple walk in the hills can bring. If the weather allows, go for it. It’ll replenish the soul, and give your heart some exercise too!

Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage
Anais Nin
Author

Small steps...

2006-02-08T20:22:00.000Z

To develop a theme that I raised earlier, it can be very daunting when there is so much to be done with so little time to do it in. Many folk seem to be forever running around from one goal to the next, sometimes moving on before the current goal is finished for fear of missing out. Ever been caught in that cycle?

So, how do we get off the treadmill and start to take control of our lives? Hmm, easy I guess. Stop doing it. Just get off. Don’t fight it, because at the end of the day, it’s you that has put you on the treadmill, so it’s all down to you. Yes, it is that easy. Try it.

Wasn’t that bad, was it? You can see the world flying by, folk rushing about, focused on the one thing that seems to be important to them, but isn’t. Observe what is going on, and when you take that step back, you see everything for what it is. You’ll see the Truth, and you will know what to do next. You don’t need drugs, alcohol or some other artificial stimulant to get to this. Just slow down and get it all into perspective.

One thing I’ve done to help with this is get rid of my watch. Why wear one when over 90% of the population are wearing one, every shop, mobile phone and cash till all display the time. Let it rule someone’s life, not yours. Take control, and work with time, not against it. Go with the flow.
So, what next? Once you have a good overview of what needs to be done, take a small step in the direction you want to go. A lovely piece of advice I got was to break any task down into manageable tasks, bite sized chunks. Best way to eat an elephant, so I hear. Spend 5 minutes each day on it. Don’t spend hours and hours, fighting through frustration, anger and sheer boredom. If you want to learn a new language, learn 5 words a day. Don’t think about doing it, just get on with it. Have fun with it, and enjoy it!

So, time to stop typing and take that next step…

I can’t do everything, but I can do something. If we all did something, we could conquer anything
Robert L Shimmel
Humanitarian

My story…

2006-02-07T21:43:00.000Z

I have been doing a lot of reading lately. Since last summer I have been hooked on the idea of telling stories. It started when, as is typical for me, I am browsing in a bookstore for nothing in particular and a book catches my eye. I pick it up, and read the first few pages, then become enthralled.

The book was about using the long standing art of storytelling to help persuade and influence people. Now, OK, this was a management book with the usual bright red cover to attract the attention of the weary traveller. Well, I confess this worked. In fact I read the book that day, cover to cover.

I’ll not tell you the book, because in the end it was rubbish. As with many such books, they start of full of great ideas, and yet forever fail to carry them through to the end. However, this was not a lost cause. It got me to think about the power of a great storytelling.

I love good stories, and I only wish I could tell them well. I have so many stories within me, and I’ve not met anyone who doesn’t. Though this is not the place for me to tell you them all, perhaps I may share a few on the journey we are taking. On the road I have searched for further material to help me put my ideas and thoughts into a format that can help me along the way. I think I have found a solution.

Through a many and varied number of coincidences, I get my hands on ‘The Writer’s Journey’ by Christopher Vogler. It was the eureka! moment, finding a book at last that sung to me. A timeless framework for a great story, ancient and modern, and even better it helps depict our own journey through life.

I pitted my own recent personal history through the key stages, and sure enough, it fits like a glove. Is that something to get excited about? By itself, perhaps not, but it perhaps provides a better opportunity to map out one’s life, put things into perspective, and prepare myself for the next stage. It may not provide all the answers, but it does help with the context, so a great place to start.

So try it out for yourself. Who are you? What’s your story? Where have you come from? Why are you here now? Where are you going next?

I am responsible for my own well-being, my own happiness. The choices and decisions I make regarding my life directly influence the quality of my days.
Kathleen Andrus
Author

Priorities

2006-02-06T20:58:00.000Z

There is so much going around at the moment in getting your priorities right when setting goals. When I did mine last week I ended up with 40, so I thought I would take a look at how to prioritise them. The idea was to help me with where to start.

I decided to use a matrix, with the vertical axis marking out the Value of the goal to me, from Zero at the axis to High at the top. On the horizontal, it was Achievement, in other words how easy/difficult is the goal likely to be completed. Easy at the axis and Hard at the extreme right hand end. I put my goals, conveniently written onto post-its, against these axes.

So, imagine my matrix as a box with 4 squares, with Value on the left hand vertical axis, and Achievement on the bottom horizontal axis. Goals that are of high value and easy to achieve will end up somewhere in the top left hand quadrant. Those that are of high value but difficult to achieve will be top left. Low value, easy to achieve will be bottom left, and low value, difficult to achieve will be bottom right.

Now, if you want to get all detailed about this, you can develop a marking system for this. Determine some characteristics of what is of Value to you, and do a High-Medium-Low scoring system. Then, score each goal against the Value characteristics. Do something similar for Achievement. If you need examples, let me know and I’ll email some to you.

In my experience, doing this by gut feel is probably more accurate than marking it all out. Trust your intuition, because you know more than you realise. I have found that in the end the final results are much the same. So go on, have some fun, and see how the goals spread out on the matrix.

When you do the review, you may wish to change the priority of a few goals relative to each other. That is fine, the aim to to get balance. I found that some goals were grouping around common themes. I had all my sporting goals in the Medium Value / Easy to Achieve area, so I put them all together and then decided what I wanted to do first.

For those goals in the High Value / Easy to Achieve area, just plan to do them in the short term (i.e. the next 3 months) It’s the easy wins thing, get a few under your belt and you’ll feel confident about doing those that may be a little more challenging. For those in the Low Value / Difficult to Achieve quadrant, either find a way to increase Value or make them easier to Achieve. Of course, if that can’t be done, should you really be doing them? For the rest, they are medium to longer term.

This is a long explanation for something that takes less than 30 minutes. If you are taking longer, you are thinking too much! Give it a go, play around with the goals, add more and take some away as appropriate. It’s our life, so go for it!

You can't just sit there and wait for people to give you that golden dream. You've got to get out there and make it happen for yourself
Diana Ross
Singer and Actress

Home cooking...

2006-02-02T20:41:00.000Z

There is nothing quite like the smell of home cooking as you come in from a long day, or even a short one for that matter. It conjures up for me all the warmth and cosiness of home. The smell of baking just hits you straight in your tummy, be it from the modest oven at home, or wafting from Greggs the bakers.

I am amazed at the loyalty and support for the Greggs place on Byres Road. Every time I pass, at whatever time of day, there is always a queue of salivating customers waiting for their favourite pie, pasty or pastry. They are there whatever the weather. Well done you lot! I am partial to Scotch pies, but don’t fancy queuing an age to get one. I am sure that they are worth it!

Instead, I console myself with some home baking. I have recently experimented by making muffins. I love them, even though they don’t quite agree with my waistline or weight, but sometimes we have to indulge ourselves. I’d had a particularly good day progressing my goals today, so as a reward knocked up some blueberry muffins.

Now, I have to confess that they went down a treat. A quarter of the price in the High Street, 10 minutes to make, 20 minutes in the oven, scoffed down in 2 minutes. Utter bliss, and now the flat is filled with the wonderful aromas of home made muffins. Even better, I still have 4 more to eat!

It is a funny thing about baking, and cooking for that matter. It is all in the preparation. It takes an age to find the right recipe, then gather all the ingredients, prepare them, cook, and dish it out. It is them wolfed down in no time (well, I am a fast eater!), and only then do I sit there in the afterglow of a job well done – usually!

Life is a bit like that too. It’s all very well thinking about stuff, like how I am going to succeed with all my goals. Yet I also need to do something, take action, such as preparing what I need to do, gathering information and data, talking to people, and then getting on with it. The proof of the pudding is in the eating, and only then can I sit back and savour the sweet smell of success.

Perhaps I’ll bake the ginger cake next week. I love the smell of ginger…

There's lot of people in the world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.
Josh Billings, US Humorist

Life as art…

2006-02-01T19:51:00.000Z

I went into Glasgow today to see the film ‘A Cock and Bull Story’. I’ll reserve judgement on it. The one bit that caught my attention was when the character played by Stephen Fry commented about trying to capture ‘life as art’.

Such statements tend to get my brain cells thinking, and I wondered what art form would I use to represent my life. Would it be a painting, a sketch, a statue, a photograph (colour or black and white) or a movie (again, colour or black and white) Have you ever thought about it? Now that you are, what would it be for you?

For something that was a still image (painting, sculpture, photograph) which moment would you capture in that frozen moment in time, and make it available for the rest of eternity? Consider the reasons behind that, and what could you learn from it?

For the moving images, which scenes would you wish to portray on the big screen? What is the genre of film? Who would be the main characters, what message is being conveyed, and how does it all end out?

Perhaps most importantly, who is making the still image or directing the film? Are you making the best of yourself by managing the whole scenario, or are you letting someone else do it for you?

I think you could make a brilliant job of it yourself. Don’t you?

Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal; nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong mental attitude.
Thomas Jefferson
1743-1826, Third President of the United States

One Small Step...

2006-01-31T20:57:00.000Z

It’s a cold day in Glasgow. Had to wrap up warm to get to the gym and go shopping. People hussled and bustled, shuffling with small steps to get to their destination and ignoring all and sundry to make it there. Funny that.

I write about Wu Wei one day, and that night I have anxiety attacks about getting some income to supplement my savings! The Universe has its perverse ways. Today I get an ezine on how to persevere! Hmm, OK, I get the message…

So, I got to work on my vision again. I’m doing fine, though perhaps getting a little too detailed with it. I’ll go through the steps I took, and then suggest a short cut in a future blog (you may as well learn from my mistakes!)

So, having done my 5 year lookback (see ‘New Year Resolutions’) I then spent 15 minutes writing down a whole bunch of goals. I found myself some quiet time, and wrote a single goal on a small post-it. In 15 minutes I ended up with 40 goals on 40 post-its. Quite ambitious, you say, and when I looked at them once my time was up, I had to agree. Yet, they would all certainly stretch me, and there were some way out goals in there (including writing a book!) but why not. Shoot for the Stars!

I then did a balance check, to ensure that the goals were leading me to live a full and meaningful life. For this I aligned the goals against ‘The Wheel of Life’. You will have seen this in many books, with 4, 8 or 12 areas of your life that will make it complete. I am familiar with 8, so put each goal against an area. Hey, it worked, each area had 4 goals and a few had 6. Brilliant! I was so pleased! It was a small step in the right direction, wherever that might lead to. One small step is better than standing still…

When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life
Greg Anderson
Greg Anderson was diagnosed with terminal cancer in 1984 and given 30 days to live. But instead of killing him, the cancer motivated him to begin living.

Let it be...

2006-01-30T18:35:00.000Z

I was reading the ‘Tao of Pooh’ by Benjamin Hoff to my partner last night. I came across the term Wu Wei, which coincidentally I had heard only last week as I was listening to Stuart Wilde reading ‘Silent Power’. The explanation by Hoff is quite neat, translated from Chinese it literally means ‘Do without Doing’. A bit like the Beatles song, ‘Let it be’.

In a nutshell, this is about letting the universal energy help us find our path, going with the flow, and not trying to force anything. The harder we look, the further the path seems to drift away. The harder we push, the stronger the resistance. I am sure we all have examples of this timeless wisdom. Ever lost your keys, and after endless searching, they appear right before you?

I love this concept, easy to understand and yet so difficult to master. As I was doing my meditation, I consulted my Board of Directors (more of these in future postings…) and they decided to update me on Wu Wei, from 5 different perspectives.

Thomas told me to approach any vision or goal as if a child exploring something new and exciting for the first time. See the endless possibilities and opportunities; be in awe of my discoveries. As I let these new ideas arise, new ones become available without even trying. It’s like magic, spontaneous and joyful.

My Dad advised to ‘go with the flow’, as water cascades gently down a stream. It flows easily around any obstacle, finding a natural path to the sea. There is no need to bang my head against obstacles, there is always another way around, keeping me in the flow, and allowing me to reach my destined goal.

Nelson also warned to beware that Time itself can be a barrier. He asked me to be patient, and don’t push towards my destination. Too many people are in a rush for this and that, and even when they get there, they are never satisfied. The vision will pull me towards it without any effort on my part, at a time that is right for me.

Diana spoke about love as a universal solvent, like water. It can carry me along with the flow, quench and revive me, and give me strength. Unconditional love is like pure spring water gushed from the source high in the mountains, providing momentum to the stream, carrying water back to the sea.

Ali said I knew the Truth, as we all do, and I need to keep that in mind as I go with the flow. Use it, and I too can become The Greatest.

Wise words. Life was not meant to be a struggle, so don’t make it any harder by trying to fight something that is your head.

No one forces you to learn. You'll learn when you want to.
Richard Bach, from 'Messiah's Handbook'

Trip to The Barras

2006-01-29T14:58:00.000Z

I went to The Barras. It seems to have changed over the years, and even today it lacked the spirit that it had many years ago. I guess the Police crackdowns on pirate copies of goods have taken their toll. I also overheard that the Council is looking to have the Barras knocked down. Just another rumour, or is it true?

Modern man seems keen to remove the non glamorous sides of our past. OK, no-one wants the slums, yet the reality is that many people cannot afford to live in the fancy apartment blocks by the Clyde. Many folk struggle to simply survive. Apparently over 50% of Scots live on £20,000 or less. So we inevitably have areas where the housing may not be fantastic, yet people and families make the best of what they have.

On a wander around The Barras, I came across a lovely guy selling postcards, cigarette cards, and stamps. He had quite a collection, roughly strewn across the counter. Boxes were categorised into various themes, and he had many books of cards. Colourful and bright, he went on to share that as a lad he had chased after men asking for the cards out of the fag packets. It was easy to picture him doing it, many years ago. He still collects, and shared his latest acquisitions. Each had a story to tell. Cards of famous people, from famous people. Each ingrained with a little bit of history, someone’s own life, for the briefest of moments, as they chose the card, wrote on it and sent it to a loved one.

Some of the most beautiful ones were those designed and made by the men who served during the First World War. Made whilst away at war, the intricate detail of the embroidered cards and envelopes was wonderful. As I admired the love and the detail that had gone into them, the man said “Many were sent by those who were never seen again”.

In this fragile world, remember those you love, and tell them how much you care about them. Too often we don’t bother, for one silly reason or another. The moment gets lost, and we simply never get around to saying the three most important words, “I love you”.

To live without loving is not really to live.

Moliere

New Year Resolutions...

2006-01-28T18:11:00.000Z

With February nearly upon us, we look back at our resolutions for the year. Some will have seen each one disappear into the mists, and feel down about it, others will be on track with some, and a few will be progressing all.

I was too busy to set any, and so am taking this quiet time to take a fresh look at where I want to be going in the next 5 years. I’d like to share the process, and go through the learnings as I go along. Who knows, I might just achieve everything I set out to do!

The starting place is to set a five year vision. The best technique I have found to do this is quite simple, yet very powerful.

1. Simply find a comfortable place to sit, and do what you can to avoid distractions. If it suits, put on some pleasant background music, light a candle, dim the lights. Create a special place for yourself.
2. Start by relaxing for 5 minutes or so to centre yourself. Use whatever technique you are familiar with. The easy way to start is to sit upright, feet firmly on the floor, hands on laps. Close your eyes, and take three deep breathes. Then breathe normally, and relax.
3. In your mind, place yourself 5 years into the future. See what is around you through your own eyes, be in the body of yourself as you observe the things around you. You will notice the key goals have been achieved. What are those goals, what do they look like, how do they smell, what do they feel like, how are they to the touch? Get as full a sensory experience as you can. It's a bit like a movie of yourself being successful, and you are the lead player!
4. As you watch the picture of your future self, make it bigger. Make the sounds richer, the feelings stronger, the colours more vibrant. Notice all the small details, perhaps the things you are saying, the clothes you are wearing, the comments others are making of your success.
5. Stay in that place, and look at all aspects of your life. Work, home, family and friends, leisure, home and recreation. Really live it with all your senses. Enjoy it!
6. When you are ready, come back into full awareness. Take a pen and paper and write down what you saw. Write it down in the present tense (i.e. "I am successful, with a wonderful partner, and we are living in a beautiful house by the sea..."), and from your own point of view. Just keep writing for at least 10 minutes, letting the words flow, and not concerning yourself with spelling or grammar.

That’s it for now. Do that, and we can pick things up later on. The important thing is to have fun! It is your future, and you may as well enjoy it!

If we all did the things we are capable of doing, we would astound ourselves

THOMAS E EDISON

So what's it all about?

2006-01-27T18:56:00.000Z

Direct Debit elevation, Vampire of the Soul
Mumbo Jumbo Commonwealth, Shaman in the Hole
Agnostic Angels murder, collective spirits smart
Making sense of gobbledegook, furnace in my heart

Through Golden Gate, Angel spirit soars
Liver Bird coaching Pure Truth indoors
Metropolis throbbing divination draws
The Matrix so coolly vibrates applause

Answers on a postcard...